He touched her chin, tipping it up until her eyes met his. She couldn’t read his expression. But what else was new?
“I’m sorry. I’m not handling this well.”
“You don’t owe me an apology, Wyatt.”
“Yes, I do.” He pulled her into his arms, resting his head on top of hers.
She held herself stiffly, unwilling to accept his affection. It was unwarranted. Undeserved. Her breath felt stuffed into her lungs, and her heart knocked against her rib cage.
“I’m so thankful you got away,” he whispered. “That should’ve been the first thing I said.”
But if I hadn’t, your mom would’ve lived, she wanted to say. But the pressure was building up in her throat, and she pressed her lips together to keep it from escaping.
“It’s not your fault,” he whispered into her hair.
She blinked back tears. A squeak escaped.
“It’s not your fault, Grace.”
She couldn’t hold back the floodgates anymore. They cracked open and a sob escaped. And once it was out, another followed. Tears flowed like a river down her face and into the soft cotton folds of his shirt. Her body shuddered under the weight of her burden.
“Oh, honey.” He tightened his hold on her. “Let it all out.”
“But you’re the one—”
“Shhhh. Let go of the guilt. If you do, I will too. There’s only one person responsible for our pain—and it’s neither one of us.”
“But . . . what if I hadn’t gotten away?”
“Don’t play the what-if game, Grace. You’ll lose every time.”
She pulled herself together. Drew away far enough that she could meet his gaze. See if he really believed what he was saying.
He thumbed away her tears, and she could’ve melted into the warmth of his eyes.
“Remember what you said to me earlier?” he asked. “That I was just a child? You were right. And so were you, Grace. We have to remember God’s sovereignty in all this. He allowed this to happen—your escape and my mom’s death. I don’t know why. Even our meeting like this . . . But maybe this is what was necessary for healing to take place. For both of us.”
A reflective look came over his face. “It’s weird, this feeling I have inside right now. I’ve been praying for peace for a long time, and I think He’s finally giving it to me. Or maybe I’m only now in a receiving frame of mind. But since we started walking it’s been slowly swelling, getting bigger by the minute. And I want that for you too, Grace.”
How could he be thinking about her right now? “But . . . if I hadn’t gotten away from him—”
He placed his finger over her lips. “Stop. I can’t even bear to think about that. Don’t you know how much I’ve come to care for you?”
“But your mom . . .”
“In a perfect world, none of that would’ve happened. But it’s not a perfect world, and we need to accept what happened. We need to trust that God has a plan for each of us. We both need to let go of this.”
Another tear trickled down her cheek. “I don’t know how.”
“I don’t either, honey. But we’ll figure it out one day at a time, okay? We have to. I can’t live with this anymore, and I don’t want you to either.” He framed her face, his eyes piercing hers. “You’re deserving of good things, Grace.”
She wanted to believe that. Wanted to believe it so badly. And if Wyatt, of all people, thought so . . . maybe, just maybe, it was true.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
From the car Wyatt watched Grace mount the porch steps. They’d talked until the sun set. Until Grace calmed down. Then when the conversation tapered off and he sensed she needed time alone, he sent her inside with a soft kiss.
He wished he’d handled himself better on the mountain. He hadn’t realized she’d been beating herself up all the way down the hill. He hated that she thought he’d resent her for surviving. Didn’t she know he loved her? Maybe he hadn’t verbalized it, but he thought he’d shown her.
During their talk they hadn’t even touched on their relationship. There were too many other things to resolve. But there’d be time to talk that through tomorrow after they’d processed today’s revelation.
For now, he needed to call the one person who understood what he’d been through. His dad had been in his corner every step of the way. He’d allowed Wyatt to grieve as a young boy even though he must’ve been