Author Anonymous_ A True Story - E.K. Blair Page 0,44

paint the passing seconds, and his next text breaks a piece of my heart.

Alec: Don’t you dare send me a fucking Dear John letter.

But that’s exactly what I’m sending, and it hurts me to know that even he can feel it.

Me: Just send me your email.

And he does.

And I type it in.

And I hit send before I talk myself out of it.

And I drop my head into my hands.

And I cry.

Why am I crying? Why does this feel like I’m losing something special? Why did I get so attached?

“You fell for him, didn’t you?”

I look up to see Brooke standing in the doorway, and a second later she blurs behind my heart’s ache.

“I don’t know how this happened,” I cry. “I love Landon. I do. I promise you, I love him.”

“He’s a good man.”

“I know.” I turn to look out the window as emotions run rampant, and I begin to laugh through the sadness. “I feel so stupid, crying over a guy I never even met. It’s pathetic.”

“It’s not,” she says as she walks over to me and leans against the desk. “You got lost in a fantasy, and fantasies have a way of playing tricks on our hearts. This guy made you feel something, and you clung to it like most would because it’s new and exciting. Even I got swept away for a fleeting moment when you were telling me all about him. I had my own moment of weakness, and I’m sorry. I know I probably encouraged you when I shouldn’t have. I wasn’t a good friend.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong. I encouraged myself. But it never felt wrong until this afternoon when Alec and Landon collided within minutes of each other. Suddenly I was sneaking around and lying to Landon.”

“Don’t beat yourself up, Tori. You lost yourself for a moment, and like you said, it’s not like you ever met the guy. It was one week of fun and a lot of orgasms,” she says with a slip of laughter, which I slip into right along with her. “Did you call him?”

“No. I sent him an email,” I tell her. “I wonder how pissed he’s going to be when he finds out I have a family.”

“Why did you tell him that? Why didn’t you just say you’re not interested anymore and that it’s over?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Because I felt like he deserved the truth.” I then turn from the window to face her. “I told him my pen name.”

Her face drops.

“You don’t want this to end, do you?”

“Yes,” I mutter. “It’s over.”

“Then why did you give him a way to forever find you? Hmm? By giving him that name, you just gave him open access to you.”

I’m like an alcoholic. I know I need to walk away and be done, but for some reason, I leave gaps along the way to recovery because although my mind knows what’s best for me, my heart tells me something different.

“Be done with this,” she says intently, “before something bad happens.”

“Can I stay here for a while? I’m not ready to go home just yet.”

“Of course. I’ll go make us some coffee.”

I pick up my cell and text Landon to see if he can pick up the girls from school. When he responds that he can, I tuck the phone into my pocket and head downstairs. I spend the rest of the afternoon allowing Brooke to distract me, but it’s in vain as I sneak glimpses at my phone to see if Alec has responded to my email or has texted me. So far, nothing. He should know by now the liar I am, and the thought that I might never hear from him again punctures my heart.

Eventually the sun descends, Chris comes home from work, and Brooke cooks her family dinner, all the while I do my best to fake a smile and good conversation. As I sit on the couch and watch the evening news, my phone buzzes from my pocket. The vibration of what could be spikes my heart to thump in rapid succession. But two words is all it takes to kill the beats into paralysis.

Alec: Damn you.

I’ve been waiting for hours, wondering if I’d ever get a reaction to the email, and here it is. I’m consumed with a million thoughts as I stare down at my phone, and when I finally pull myself away, I see Brooke staring at me from the kitchen. My face heats as hidden sadness resurfaces, and I can’t