these events, but when I burst through the doors, I’m an hour late with only a touch of makeup on.
“You’re late,” Brooke snaps from her chair.
She has the whole table already set up, and the guilt returns.
“I’m sorry. Traffic was really bad,” I lie.
Her face is mottled in irritation. “You missed the author photo.”
“I hate those things anyway.”
“Doesn’t matter. It makes you look unprofessional.”
“I know I’m an asshole,” I tell her, “but can we try to get through today without being so abrasive?”
“You’re calling me abrasive?”
“No,” I say, back-stepping my words. “I meant us.”
She forces a smile. “I’ll be good.”
When the doors open to the readers, it’s a whirlwind I’m unable to enjoy. Sitting next to my best friend and watching her work her pregnant ass off is undeserving. I screwed her over. She didn’t have to show up today, she could’ve screwed me over too, but she didn’t. She showed up for me—to support me. She’s a much better person than I am, and I’m nowhere near worthy of her friendship right now.
Not one picture was taken with a genuine smile today. Everything about this signing was a lie. Every fan I met felt like a deception. They have no idea the thorns I bear under these clothes. They’d be better off to stay away from me because all I seem to do these days is hurt people. I’m a total fraud, but not one person who walked through this room today knows that fact besides Brooke.
She’s knows the rot I’ve become.
“Let me help you pack this stuff up,” I offer when she picks up a stack of books.
“I’ve got it,” she dismisses. “Just go.”
“Brooke—”
“What?” she snaps. “Is there something you want to say to make yourself feel better about being a total bitch to me?”
I bite my tongue because no matter what I say, I’m only going to make this situation worse.
Brooke grabs my purse and holds it out for me. She won’t even look me in the eyes, and when I take the purse from her, I attempt to apologize, but she cuts me off. “Yeah, I know. You’re sorry. But not sorry enough because we both know where you’re going when you leave.”
Shame and guilt sock me in my stomach, and before I break down in front of this room full of authors, bloggers, and a few lingering fans, I duck my head and rush out. I shield my face that’s covered in tears with my hand as I hightail it out of the hotel. I don’t even bother trying to catch a cab; I’d rather lose myself in the sea of people.
“Victoria!”
I turn back to where I just came from and see Alec pushing his way to catch up to me.
“What are you doing here?”
“I was waiting for you,” he says, and when he finally reaches me, he grabs my face in worriment, asking, “What happened? Are you okay?”
Passersby zip around us, bumping our shoulders, and I’m scared that a reader or an author might see us.
“Alec, we can’t be here,” I panic. “There’s too many people around that know who I am.”
Without missing a beat, he takes me under his arm and hails a cab.
“What happened?” he asks once we’re tucked away in a stale-smelling taxi and heading back to the W.
I wipe sadness from my cheeks. “It’s my fault. I deserve to feel this way.”
“Why are you being so hard on yourself?”
“Because I’m selfish,” I snap. “I’m weak and self-centered and—”
“Enough,” he halts with agitation. “I’m not going to sit here and listen to you beat yourself up. You want to do that? Do it with someone else. Because when I look at you, I don’t see any of that shit.”
“How can you think for one second that what I’m doing isn’t selfish?”
“Because I only care about who you are when you’re with me. I don’t want to think about who you are when you go home to your husband. I already know you’re fake as shit with that man, but that’s not the same woman who shows up at my door.”
I flick my eyes to the rearview mirror and catch the driver silently scorning me before diverting his eyes back to the road. Even he knows how atrocious I am.
“Look at me,” Alec demands. “This situation is far from ideal, but you’re not in it alone. I’m here with you, aren’t I?”
“You are, but—”
“No buts. All that matters is that I’m here and that I’m fucking crazy about you. Leave all that