child, and now I cling to it, cry for it, and need it for survival.
In one hand I have Alec, a man who threw me into a turnstile filled with a blazing passion of love that’s so powerful and so hot it threatens to sear me if I’m not careful. But he shoved me out. He didn’t even fight for me.
And in my other hand I have Landon, a man who built his world around me, gave me two beautiful girls, and gave me a life most would dream of. A life I once dreamt of but no longer do because all the excitement and desire we had has been snuffed out. But unlike Alec, this man fights for me. Unfortunately, it isn’t him I want fighting.
I slip my hands around his wrists as he holds on to me and look into the eyes of what just might be my consolation prize after losing Alec.
“Say something,” he requests, a plea for me to return his sentiment, but I can’t, because when I lie in bed at night, I’m not alone, and it’s not Landon that fills my mind.
When I say nothing, he drops his head to mine, and the closeness tugs at the bloody gash Alec left me with.
I’m so lonely.
With broken hearts and battered souls, our lips touch. Victims in this game called love, we kiss, moving with uncertainty into a gray fog where no understanding resides. Motions happen without choice or approval.
Time slips from existence and we’re on the bed. My hands press into Landon’s back, pulling his weight on top of me.
I’m adrift, wandering aimlessly inside my head of vacancy.
Slowly, our bodies move together, the ache of my broken soul begging to be healed. Clothes fall to the floor, leaving nothing between us except bared flesh and hidden lies. Landon sits on his heels between my open thighs and looks at me with sadness. His eyes drop from mine and drift over every detail of my body, melting time as if he’s locking my every curve into his memory.
A whip lances my heart, slicing a singeing wound into vessels and nerves when his body lowers to mine.
Suddenly, I’m aware of everything.
He slides his cock along my slick pussy.
This is it.
I hold my breath, complete with understanding, and pinch my eyes shut as he takes his time pushing himself inside me. He savors every inch gained until we’re completely coalesced.
This is his goodbye.
Without urgency, without rush, he makes love to me. His hands gently glide over my body while I hold on to him to keep from drowning in pain and regret. Everything about the way he’s looking at me, the way he’s kissing me, the way he’s stroking his cock inside of me, it all screams that this is the last time the two of us will ever be together like this.
Landon whispers kisses along my neck and murmurs against my skin, “I love you,” giving me the words so easily, and I choke on my tears. “You’re so beautiful.”
His adorations tear me apart, and I can’t believe this is actually happening. Our broken bodies sway and rock together, sealing the fate of finality with every kiss, every lick, every breath of pleasure. Tears slip from the corners of my eyes, rolling down the sides of my face and into my hair.
“Tell me you love me,” he says.
“Landon, please . . .”
“It’s been forever since I’ve heard you say it.” His voice is heavy, weighing me down in dissension, and when he says, “You don’t have to mean it. I just want to hear it one last time,” everything I’ve been holding back, claws its way out.
I cry.
It’s ugly and honest and brutally painful.
He kisses trails of salt and then slips his hand between my legs.
A moan erupts through my sobs when his fingers find my clit. With feather-light touches, he drives my body closer to an orgasm I shouldn’t indulge in.
“Say it,” he urges as he continues to move inside my body.
“Landon, oh, God.” My body jerks up to his, the sizzle of ecstasy electrocuting my bones.
He begins to thrust his hips, and before I throw myself on the sword, I feel him thicken, and that’s all it takes to send me over the edge. I cum as our bodies lock firmly together. We hold each other more tightly than we ever have before, with bone-breaking strength as he spills into me. I spasm around his throbs, and in the hurricane of emotions swarming between us,