I blow out a deep breath. “When I got the job with Happy Harvest, I promised myself I’d change. I’d do things right, keep my mouth shut, my head low, and work hard. It worked. They noticed and rewarded me, but things just…snowballed.”
I search Cat’s face, looking for clues as to what she’s thinking, but she’s unreadable, so I continue. “Meredith told you the basics, but it’s hard to explain how it happened. There I was, making a life, establishing a career with an industry leader. Finally I was doing something good with my talents instead of wasting them. I’d learned my lesson. I started seeing results and getting recognized for my efforts instead of fired for my shitty behavior.”
She nods. “You grew up.”
“Exactly.” I shake my head. “Meredith—she was like…” I swallow, not wanting to admit this to Cat, but I trudge on, because all I have left to give her is the truth, and it’s what she deserves. “I used to see her with her family, walking through the fields, talking to investors. She was like part of some untouchable world I couldn’t even begin to understand. Everything about her was fresh and clean and new. When I got promoted and she took an interest in me, I wasn’t completely stupid. I tried to say no. But in the end, I wanted what she wanted to give me, and it was like entry into a private club you’d only ever seen from the outside. She was great at first. It was like she peered into my head and gave me exactly what I wanted in a woman. It took me six months to start suspecting it was a lie. By then, though, it was too late. The longer things went on, the more entrenched I became in the organization. The more success I had, and the more respect I gained. It became a vicious circle—one I didn’t know how to escape. I wanted to stay because I fucking loved the job. I loved everything about it. I loved the challenges, the rush of adrenaline, the long hours, the people. I loved watching how everything came alive under my care and attention. But the more successful I became, the more that success became entangled in my relationship with Meredith. Then she started talking about how we needed to get married, and how we’d run the company, and I started to panic because I knew I could never marry her. But I didn’t know how to exit the relationship without ruining my career.”
Cat nods, her lips turning down at the corners. “Then she threatened you, and it was the last straw.”
“Pretty much.” I feel like I could go on, especially now that I’ve broken the seal, but it seems unnecessary. “I climbed in my old truck with nothing but a suitcase full of my clothes and have been running ever since.”
“Why didn’t you think you could tell me any of this?” Her voice is soft.
“It was something I wanted to forget. I wanted to start over fresh, without all the baggage.” I shift in my chair. “I didn’t anticipate falling for you. I didn’t want to, but I did.”
She raises a brow. “And the fact that the situations are so similar didn’t factor into your decision to keep it from me?”
“’Course it did.” I meet her gaze. “By the time it became relevant, I knew how you were, and I didn’t want you to use it as an excuse to push me away.”
“Maybe I wouldn’t have.”
I give her an incredulous look. “Bullshit. You would have decided you were a consolation prize, when nothing is further from the truth.”
“And what’s the truth?”
I get up from my seat and come to kneel next to her. “You’re the real deal. I’m in love with you. I would do anything for you. You are the first person I think of when I wake up in the morning and the last person I think of when I go to sleep. I find you frustrating, challenging, and exciting. When something good happens, you’re the person I want to tell. When I have a problem, you’re the person I want to talk it over with. When I look at you, you feel like home. And I think you feel the same way about me.”
She shifts away to the corner of her chair, like she wants to escape my proximity. “Isn’t it convenient that I come with my own farm?”