it won’t. But if it is, I want it to be because I want it, not because it was there and I didn’t know another way.
So I’ve been concocting a plan. What I’ve decided is the right decision—maybe not for Wyatt or Jackson—but for me. First thing Monday morning, after the dust settled and everyone got organized for the week, I asked my brothers to sit down for a meeting.
They’re both waiting for me in Wyatt’s office now, sitting at the round table where we conduct most our business. I smile and slide into the seat across from them.
As soon as they pin me with their stares, I grow nervous and clasp my hands on the table in front of me before clearing my throat. “Thanks for coming.” I glance at Jackson. “Are you and Gwen happy with how the weekend went?”
He nods, sliding back on his chair. “It was a good time, and we got what we wanted. We’re feeling pretty confident going into the private event.”
“Good, I’m glad.” I skip my attention to Wyatt, and then let it skitter away. He’s the one I’m most worried about, because it’s been the two of us since I can remember. All those years Jackson was away, trotting around the world, it was Wyatt and me who vowed to save our family home and land. Jackson couldn’t have cared less.
Even now, when we’re more a unit than we’ve ever been, Jackson’s tie to this place is Natalie, not the land. He’s used the land to his advantage, but if it wasn’t for his daughter—her attachment to us and the support she has here—he’d have hightailed it to Chicago with Gwen in a heartbeat.
But Wyatt is another story. This place is woven into the fabric of his very being, and I don’t think he’s going to take my decision well.
There’s only one way to find out, so I take the plunge and speak the words I’ve been thinking almost nonstop. “I haven’t been happy for a while.”
Jackson and Wyatt glance briefly at each other before returning to gaze at me, letting me know they’ve noticed and discussed it privately.
Wyatt nods. “Do you know what about?”
I shrug. “I love you both so much, and I love what we’ve built here. I’m excited to see how it grows and changes in the future. But I can’t help feeling like I’m along for the ride.”
They both shake their heads vigorously.
Wyatt sits forward, putting his elbows on the table, his expression intent. “Not true, Cat. You’re an integral part of this operation.”
Jackson nods. “Gwen and I would be lost without you.”
I raise a brow. “How?”
There’s a furrowed brow from Jackson. “How?”
“Yeah, how.” My spine straightens. Now that I’ve spoken the words, my conviction grows. “Explain it to me.”
Wyatt’s jaw hardens. “Have we been making you feel undervalued? I know we’ve been preoccupied, but that doesn’t mean we don’t appreciate all your contributions to both our businesses.”
I smile. “I know you appreciate me. It’s not about that.”
“Then what is it about?” Jackson’s voice has an edge to it. “I’m sure we can fix whatever’s troubling you.”
It’s hard to articulate this in concrete ways my pragmatic brothers will understand, but I’ll do my best. I blow out a breath. “These are your dreams, not mine.”
Wyatt blinks a little, as though startled. “We came up with this together.”
“Not really.” I hope my words don’t have a bite to them, because it’s not how I feel. “You came up with the idea, and I went along. But I can’t keep living my life basically supporting your dreams while pursuing none of my own.”
Jackson steeples his fingers. “Okay, we can fix that. What do you want to do? Whatever it is, we can do our best to make it happen.”
I shake my head. “That’s the problem. I don’t know. I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore outside of taking care of all the things you guys don’t have time or energy to deal with.”
“Cat,” Wyatt’s features cloud over, and I know he’s upset. “That’s not how we view you at all.”
“I understand, but that’s how I feel. It’s not your fault, and I understand you don’t feel that way about me.” I clench my jaw and swallow hard. “But I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I need to fix it. To figure out what and where my place is. Even if it ends up being here, I want it to be my choice. Does that make