Anything for Her - By Janice Kay Johnson Page 0,99
in return, she had lived without it. Ultimately, becoming a quilt maker had given her joy, too.
What she’d never done in her life was give her heart—until she had looked up at that almost-homely face and straight into Nolan’s stunningly clear blue eyes, the expression in them equally arrested. From that first moment, she thought.
I don’t want to be alone anymore. Who had said that, him or her?
We don’t have to be.
She stood up and turned off the burner, moving the teakettle off it without bothering to pour water into the cup. Her tension and pain seemed to be floating away, leaving her feeling extraordinarily light. Maybe, she thought frivolously, absurdly, she could do that jeté now and stay airborne as long as she liked.
She made herself remember that he’d had her investigated, but couldn’t muster any anger at all, because she did understand why he’d done it.
She really was a lousy liar, and Nolan had an especially deep-seated fear of lies. It wasn’t hard to picture how incredulous he must have felt at the idea that in loving her he was replicating his parents’ relationship. It was no surprise he’d had to get answers about her, one way or another.
Despite what he’d done, she believed with all her heart that she could trust him. When he made a commitment, Nolan would keep it. Even Sean was starting to have faith, Allie thought, although he hadn’t been with Nolan all that long.
If I choose him, he’ll be on my side forever and ever.
Between one heartbeat and the next, she made her decision. It was easier than she’d imagined it could be. She didn’t understand why coming to it had taken her so long.
If only he’d forgive her. Allie couldn’t believe that she’d ever been so foolish.
Middle of the night or not, she wanted to call him. Drive over to his house and pound on the door. But of course that was silly.
Mom, she thought, on a renewed stab of pain. I have to talk to Mom. It seemed only fair to clear the decks before she went to Nolan.
Come morning, heavy-eyed, she called her mother first. “We have to talk,” she said simply. When her mother questioned her, she pretended to have a customer.
She couldn’t reach Barbara, and made the decision to close the shop for an hour when her mother got here. She’d never done that before, but other shopkeepers here in town did it from time to time. Nobody would be able to see her and Mom sitting in back. She scribbled a quick note. Family Emergency—Back at 11:00.
When Mom walked in, Allie hung the note and locked the door, grateful not to have any customers at the moment.
“Let’s go in back,” she said, and her mother followed her down the central aisle.
They sat down and looked at each other.
“I won’t be going with you,” Allie said, and braced herself for the storm.
Instead, she saw dignity and pained acceptance. “I thought that’s what you’d decide.”
“You’ve been acting as if you assumed I would go.”
“I’ve been hoping,” her mother corrected. “Selfishly, I know.” She gave a small, twisted smile. “Despite what he did, I think your Nolan is a good man. He can make you happy. You deserve that, Allie. And more. I suppose I’ve clung to you, but it’s time for me to stop.”
“Oh, Mom.” Tears, hot and fierce, spilled from Allie’s eyes. “I love you. I don’t want to lose either of you. I don’t.”
Their hands connected, squeezed so tightly it was hard to tell where one began and the other ended.
“No. I know. I hope you don’t have to.”
Allie wasn’t the only one crying. For once, the tears seemed to be freeing. For forty-five minutes, they sat and talked about good times and bad without any of the emotional tension that had been there for so long Allie wasn’t sure when it had begun. It was as if, in a moment, they had both been able to let go of all the resentment, all the expectations, everything except the friendship and love.
At the end her mother looked at her. “If I’d known then what I know now, I would have made a different decision. I hope you know that.” The movement her mouth made couldn’t even be called a smile. “Admitting to myself how much I hurt all of you hasn’t been easy. I’ve resolved to write Jason and tell him how sorry I am, too.”
“Back then, you couldn’t know what would happen,” Allie said.