Anything for Her - By Janice Kay Johnson Page 0,58
dad do, that you guys had to move so often?”
Allie braved herself to meet his sharp blue eyes. “Why do you care so much about my childhood?”
“I want to know you.” He paused, lines on his forehead deepening, his expression somehow somber.
“Tell me I’m wrong, Allie. Tell me you don’t have scars deep inside.”
Breathless, she stared back, unable to say a word.
“Sometimes I think you don’t want to remember.”
She wrenched her gaze from his and watched Sean, without seeing his and Cassie’s antics. “Is that so unusual? You sound like you practice avoidance where your parents are concerned.”
“I can’t deny it. But I do go home for Christmas, and I told you about them.”
“Yes.” Dear God, how was she supposed to deflect him? “It was different for me,” she said finally. “Neither of your parents abandoned you.”
“My biological father did.”
“If he knew you existed.”
“That’s true.” He hadn’t once looked away from her face. “Why won’t you talk about it, Allie? What happened, that you never see or hear from your father? Did he hurt you? Abuse you?”
“No!” Shocked, she turned her head and met his eyes again. “Of course not! I loved him.”
“Then why?”
“I do hear from him. He writes sometimes. It’s just...things with him and my mom...” Hearing how weak that sounded, Allie winced. And braced herself. Nolan would never let her get by with it.
“And your brother?” Trust him to twist the inquisition in a way she hadn’t expected.
“He sided with Dad.” Her throat wanted to close. “I felt like I had to choose, okay?” Felt like? She had had to choose. Eenie, meenie, minie, mo, which parent do you cut out of your life? “It was the worst thing I’ve ever had to do.”
“God, Allie.” Suddenly he tugged her across the top step so that he could wrap both arms around her. “I’m sorry. So sorry. That stinks. What were they thinking?” The anger in his voice both warmed her and scared her.
“Don’t say anything to Mom,” she said desperately. “Please don’t, Nolan.”
He was silent for a long time. He’d laid his cheek on top of her head and was rubbing it back and forth. “No,” he said finally, gruffly. “Of course I won’t. I have no right to jump in. I know I don’t.”
“No.” Her sharp tone contradicted the way she was burrowing into his embrace. Or was it the other way around? “You don’t.”
Nolan didn’t say anything, and she had to suspect she’d hurt his feelings. Hers would have been hurt, if he’d said anything like that.
“Did you choose your mother because you needed her?” he asked, shocking her with his perceptiveness. “Or because she needed you?”
She wrenched herself away. Her stare must be wild. “Why won’t you let this go?”
Now his expression was implacable. “I told you. Because I want to know you. Don’t you want to know me?” he asked, his voice softening.
Yes. No. Her heart was hammering so hard she was almost dizzy. They stared at each other in a standoff she was terrified she wouldn’t win.
“Hey,” Sean said from the foot of the steps. “What’s going on?” His gaze moved from one of them to the other.
“We’re arguing,” Nolan said easily. “So what, did you finally concede to Cassie?”
Sean cackled. “Yeah, if only she could shoot.”
The dog stood beside him, tail going so hard her butt swung from side to side. She was panting, her tongue hanging out.
“You’ve got a hell of a shot,” Nolan told him. “Your coach pleased?”
“Yeah, he said he’d planned to put me at center, but he’s changed his mind and decided I’ll play forward. Except I’m not so good at defense yet.”
Nolan shrugged. “You’ll get it.” His smile grew into a grin. “It’ll help when you quit tripping over those big feet of yours.”
If she hadn’t been so tangled up inside, Allie would have giggled at the way Nolan’s foster son scowled at his feet, as if he hadn’t figured them out yet.
“I went up two sizes this year.”
“You’ve passed me by,” Nolan said.
Allie estimated Sean was wearing a twelve at least, and his feet looked even more monstrous in the kind of athletic shoes that would have made her feet look big. She could only imagine them if he left them untied the way boys did.
“Do you think they’ll stop now?” Sean sounded plaintive.
“Maybe. Probably not.”
“Dad wasn’t that huge.”
“What about your mom’s side of the family?”
There was a noticeable pause. “I think she was tall. Like, almost as tall as he was.”