she wanted to ask. Big girls had tender hearts, too.
“Look, I’m a bad bet,” he continued. “Don’t have any doubt about it. My head is pretty messed up. However, it’s not nearly as messed up as it was when I came to Colorado. Right now the idea of a baby makes me break out in a cold sweat, but maybe it won’t always be that way. I’d like time to try to figure that out.”
“We don’t have to be married for that. If you’re worried about my reputation, well, don’t. We’re not going to fool anyone. Eternity Springs’ residents might not be the most sophisticated people around, but they do know how to count to nine.”
Gabe leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “I’ve done a lot of lousy things in my life, but I’ve always taken responsibility for my actions. Marrying is the right thing to do, the responsible thing to do.”
Responsibility. Great. He made marriage sound as pleasurable as a toothache.
Doubt assailed her. Marrying him could be a huge mistake, not because of the baby—he had a point about having time—but because she was susceptible to him. She could love this man. Shoot, she was halfway in love with him already.
Celeste’s words echoed through her mind. He has a good and loving heart, but it’s been damaged. It’s still healing. And you know what the best medicine for a wounded heart is, don’t you?
Love.
Nic returned to her chair and sank into the seat. “If we did this, what sort of arrangement are you proposing with this proposal?”
“What do you mean?”
“Would this be a marriage in name only or the real deal? Would we live together? Share our meals?” She paused, licked her lips, then added, “Share a bed?”
He went very still for a moment, then shook his head. “I won’t use you, Nic. I did that at Christmas and it was wrong. Honestly, my head is kinda screwed up where sex is concerned. I was a faithful husband and … well, I guess you could say I haven’t adjusted to my change in circumstance. If you have a spare bedroom, that would probably be best. At least for now.”
Nic shut her eyes. How humiliating was this? He wouldn’t be her husband. He’d be her roommate. If I wanted a roommate, I’d have taken out an ad.
“If I were to agree to this,” she said slowly, “there is something I refuse to compromise on. If you decide you’re, um, adjusted again, don’t let me walk in on you and another woman. Like they say, been there, done that. Totally no fun.”
“Hey.” He put a finger beneath her chin and tilted her face up, then stared deeply into her eyes. “That’s one promise I can make you, Nic. I will not be unfaithful. Put that worry out of your mind. You have my word.”
She believed him. After all, he was still struggling over faithfulness to his first wife a year after her death.
“Say yes, Nicole,” he urged. “Let me do this much for you, for the baby. Let me give him, give both of you, my name.”
“Why do you care, Gabe? I don’t understand.”
“I’m not sure I understand either, to be honest. What I do know is that as I stood on that mountaintop yesterday, I understood that this is the way it’s supposed to be. Maybe it’s because it’s the way I was raised. Maybe it’s because this is one thing I know I can do for this baby. If, in the end, I have to walk away, at least he’ll know I respected his life and his mother enough to do this.”
Nic thought about it for a long time. If she agreed to marry him, she would be taking an awful risk. What if she fell all the way in love with him and he never healed enough to love her back? Or, even worse, his heart healed and he decided he wanted someone else?
But, like Sage said, the potential reward was great. They could have a happy marriage. Her baby could have both her parents.
Gabe Callahan could fall in love with them.
“If I were to agree to this,” she slowly repeated, “I’d want a kill switch.”
“Excuse me?”
“We can’t have an open-ended agreement. That doesn’t work for me. I need to know that if you can’t commit to us by the time the baby is, say, six months old, you’ll leave. That you’ll go away and stay away so that I … we … can get