to trust that his intention was there. “Then I beg you, do not offer information where none is needed. Brainwash yourself, Edward. Say it over and over again, like a mantra. We did not know each other before. We were never married. The story can be that we meet here through my brother Liam,” I held up a hand, “the hiring of whom, the bringing to town of whom is a whole other issue, but I can’t go there now.”
Tearing my gaze from his, I returned to the windshield. In my current mood, the forest was a discouraging band of skeletal trees, with the occasional withered leaf clinging, even after the snows. I tried to take strength from those stubborn last leaves, but failed. My voice was as weak as the sun that struggled to filter feebly through a cold haze of clouds. “Your being here is a problem for me on so many levels I can’t begin to see my way clear.”
“I’m sorry.”
“But you won’t sell.”
“I can’t. It isn’t just the resort.” His voice was quiet. “The package includes property all over town, even the ski slope, which needs serious snow-making equipment, but that’s nada compared to the crisis right now at the Spa. New computer security is the least of it. We’re talking major damage control, posting newsletters on travel sites, sending personal notes to clients to tell them we’re on top of things, working with travel agents to restore confidence. My group has a dozen investors. I’m the managing partner, which means I have a major responsibility for what’s happened and a major incentive to make things work. I can’t sell now. I’m in too deep.”
I gave a short snort. “Bad time for a hacking scandal?”
“Ya’ think?” he asked in disgust.
I met his eyes again, couldn’t not. Yes, they were Lily’s eyes, but that fact was clouded by my own despair. “What were you thinking, Edward?”
“Ned.”
“Did you think I’d be happy? Did you think I was sitting here waiting for you? Did you never consider my side of this? Did it not occur to you that your coming here might be painful for me? Did it never occur to you to call me first and tell me what you were planning to do before the deal went through?”
Those silvery eyes grew intense. “I knew you’d say no.”
“And you didn’t respect me enough to respect my feelings?”
His lips were as tight as the small nod he gave. “I respect you,” he said. “I’ve watched you—” He broke off.
There was dead silence, but the guilt on his face said I hadn’t heard wrong.
“What do you mean, watched me?”
“Not the first couple of years, I was too upset then, but the last couple, I needed to know.”
“Needed to know what?”
“How you were doing.”
I was getting an uncomfortable feeling, another little razor-sharp tear in the fabric of a life I thought I knew. “How did you watch me?”
“Jay.”
“Jay.” I turned away, looked blindly out my side window, put my elbow on the sill and my chin on a shaky fist.
“He won’t say anything without breaching lawyer-client privilege. I had to know you were all right.” He stopped, but I refused to turn, was too upset to speak. His voice came from behind me. “He didn’t tell me much, just that you had friends and a job and seemed happy.”
Against my fist, I asked, “Did you learn this before or after you decided to buy the Inn?”
“Before. I figured maybe you were onto something, starting new and all, so when one of my partners learned about the resort package, I took over. You were my inspiration. You picked yourself up off the floor. Maybe that’s why I’m here. I need this—”
“You need this?” I cut in, whirling back. “This is about you?”
“It’s about us,” he said, those silver blues defiant. “About the past, Mackenzie. I can’t move on.”
“It’s Maggie.”
“There’s no closure.”
“Isn’t death closure enough?”
“No!” He boomed, then lowered his voice. “This isn’t only about Lily. Well, maybe it is. But it’s about us, too. We stopped talking. Why did we stop talking?”
“Because I killed our child.”
“You didn’t kill her. If the driver of the van hadn’t been going twice the speed limit—”
“Not that fast.”
“Yes, that fast. When everything was over—the trial, our marriage—I went back to the police. I wanted to know exactly how fast he was going.”
“Why did it matter? I was convicted.”
“Yeah, and that bothered me, so I asked about the guy’s speed.”