know about, unless Chris had blurted it out to his mother as soon as I left. “What happened with Grace?”
“She was okay.”
“Did she stay with Chris?”
“I made her.” There was a jolt on the bed, a dip, and Edward bolted up. “What the hell is that?” he asked.
“One of my cats.” Needing to stay connected, I put a reassuring hand on his lower back, which was the part of him I could most easily reach. “They’re not used to anyone else in my bed.”
He exhaled resignedly. “Do they always sleep with you?”
“Apparently not when someone else does.”
He lay back down, though it was a minute before his heartbeat returned to its pre-cat calm.
So low that it was almost to myself, I whispered, “I love my cats.”
He was silent. Then, “Is that a warning?”
“Just saying.” I reconsidered it. Yes, a warning. “I like them here.”
“Where’s your dog?”
“I love him, too.”
“But where is he?”
“Probably asleep on Liam’s bed. He likes lying in piles of clothes.”
“Well, something else is here,” he said, lying very still now. “Do you use a vibrator?”
“Excuse me?” It was a second before I understood. “Oh, God. My phone.” Sitting up in the dark, I groped through the covers in search, but Edward found it in the rumple of sheets under his leg.
He handed it to me. Its screen was lit and a harsh intrusion. I put it facedown on the nightstand.
“Don’t want to check it?”
Still up on an elbow, I looked down at him. “No.”
“You sure?”
“Very. I don’t want people telling me about People or The Devon Times.”
“Maybe they’re calling about something else.”
I simply shook my head. My friends were wonderfully loyal to me and I to them, but for none of them was I the “person to contact in case of emergency,” and if it wasn’t an emergency now, I didn’t want to talk, at least, not with them.
I started to lie down again but stopped, unsure. When Edward opened his arm, I went the rest of the way.
We lay quietly. For a time, I was content enough not to say anything. But the room was dark, and no, I didn’t want to talk with friends, but maybe I did want to talk with my ex-husband.
“Edward?”
“Mmm?”
“Why did you come here tonight?”
He shifted his hips to get comfortable. “I knew you were upset.”
Upset was putting it mildly. “I was bitchy to Nina and bitchy to Chris and bitchy to Joyce.”
“Joyce?”
“She called you. So I walked right past her without a word.”
“She understands, Maggie.”
“How much does she know?”
“Most everything. I wanted her to let me know if Shanahan came again, and she asked just the right questions, no more, and she’s like a mother.”
I grunted. “Not like mine.”
“Or mine. That’s what makes her so appealing.”
“She didn’t say anything to me.”
“Why would she?”
“I don’t know.” But I did. It was a whole other side of me, one that was neither pretty nor praiseworthy. Looking back, I didn’t see anything she had done in my regard that was different. But I couldn’t see into her deepest thoughts. They had to have changed. How could she not think less of me for killing my child?
He sighed. “Jesus, Maggie.”
“What?”
“Get past it.”
I wanted to tell him he was wrong. I wanted to say that wasn’t what I’d been thinking at all. But this was Edward. So I just said, “I’m trying.”
We were quiet for a bit. Then, he said, “You’re okay with Nina knowing?”
“No.” Funny, though, only now I remembered what Nina had said about her own loneliness. She wasn’t upset with what I had done, just wanted to know how I had survived it. She wanted help. I had totally shut her out.
“But you’re okay with me here?” Edward asked, so again I put Nina aside.
“In town? No.”
“I’m not leaving.”
“I know.”
“You need me.”
“You don’t need me.”
“Are you kidding? I need someone who knows who I am. Not who I am now. Who I was. Besides, you’re a good lay.”
“Good lays are a dime a dozen.”
“How would you know?”
“You’re right. I wouldn’t.” I was suddenly hesitant. “So … it was okay?”
“Better than okay. Better than ever.”
I raised my head at that. “Was I not so good before?”
He pushed my head back to his chest. “You were great before. You’re just greater now. That thing you did … the back of my thighs? No one loves me like you.”
Seeming determined to test the theory, he took me again. And yes, he had a way of inspiring me. I had never been inhibited when it came