back into his warmth. He was worried, which made me nervous. What if Trent had been beside me at the time? I might have given him an accidental shock. Or worse.
“I’m sure it’s okay,” he said, but I wasn’t. “Mind if I turn on the news?”
“Go ahead.” Suddenly I was reminded of the morning at my mom’s on the West Coast, watching the undead souls pulled from the ever-after to reality as the sunset traveled from east to west. That same sort of impending something soured my gut even as I slumped deeper against him. His arm tightened around me as he stretched for the remote, and I squinted when the TV brightened to the news and he lowered the volume to a background nothingness. It was all traffic and bake sales, and slowly my worry eased.
“Nina is cooking Thanksgiving this year,” I said when they went to a commercial and a loud family strolled into Grandma’s house and complained about the Internet. “You want to come over with Jenks and me? The girls are invited, too.”
Trent shifted uncomfortably. “Ellasbeth wants Thanksgiving at the top of the Carew Tower,” he said, clearly not excited about it.
I sat up, remembering Landon’s claim about barren women and Ellasbeth wanting to be a larger part of the girls’ lives. “I think Ellasbeth at Thanksgiving is a great idea,” I said, and he made a surprised guttural sound. “Bring her along. One more won’t matter.”
“Ellasbeth,” he said flatly, and I leaned into him again, not wanting him to see my guilt.
“She’s trying,” I said, not knowing why except that she loved the girls, and all children should have the chance to be with the ones who loved them.
His hand curved round to brush my hair, and I relaxed. “I never thought you’d be the one to try to convince me,” he said sourly. “Why doesn’t she hate you anymore?”
“Because I understand her,” I said. “I know you’re angry with her for not accepting that she comes after the needs of keeping your people off the endangered species list.”
“I’m not angry with her,” he lied.
“Then is it because she hurt you by breaking off the wedding when I hauled your ass to jail?” I questioned, and he winced.
“No . . . ,” he drawled, but it wasn’t convincing. “I didn’t want to marry her.”
“You did say you loved her,” I said, eyes on his arm around me. Oh, God. Why was I doing this? Was I so freaked out about commitment that I was self-sabotaging our relationship, or was I making sure there was nothing there to rekindle? After all, he had a baby with this woman. Marrying her would solve all his issues and give him his voice back in the enclave. He’d be the elven Sa’han again. Not to mention the girls would have a more stable situation.
“I did say that.” Trent’s voice was even. “But I’ve since realized that everything I loved about her was tied to things she could give me, not how she made me feel. That’s not really love.”
He tugged me closer, and I felt a wash of relief. “Okay. But if you aren’t angry with her, why are you using the girls to hurt her?”
“Quen asked me the same thing,” he whispered, his fingers tightening in mine until I could feel the energy in our chis try to equalize in darting tendrils of sensation. His brow was wrinkled in worry—worry that he was letting emotion and pride stop him from finding something positive.
“All she wants is to be a part of the girls’ lives. Not yours,” I said, but I wasn’t sure about that last part. “I think you should invite her to have dinner with us at Piscary’s.” I sat up at his soft complaint. “How many would that be?” I said, thinking this might give us a way to find peace with our troubled joined past. “Me, Ivy, Jenks, Nina, Quen, Jon, the girls, you, Ellasbeth. Ten people. That’s a turkey, right? We could even have a kid table. Make Jon sit there.”
I beamed at his wince, but I had days to wear him down. “We used to have big get-togethers. Extended family,” I said as I eased back into his warmth. “All of us in a really small house. Not so much after my dad died. I always felt like a bastard child. As if I didn’t really belong.”
“Because you were in the hospital all the time?” he guessed, and I shivered, liking how his