Still he said nothing, and I answered my own question. You do what you can, and what you can’t do, you learn to live with.
But this was Bis, and I couldn’t. My breath shook as I pulled away and wiped my eyes. “I’m glad you’re here,” I whispered, and his grip on my hand tightened.
“Where else would I be?” he said, expression pinched.
I held my breath, struggling to start right back up again. But then Mark groaned softly as the door chimes jingled, and I sniffed, blinking fast when Ivy strode in, phone to her ear.
“I’ve found her. She’s at Junior’s,” Ivy said in her dust gray voice, and I wadded up the napkin, numb and spent.
Trent gave my hand a squeeze and stood as Ivy wove between the tables. The new day was bright behind her and worry was in her eyes as she tucked her phone into a back pocket. She was still in her working leathers, slim and sexy, looking as if she would rip someone’s throat out for me if I asked. It was good to have friends. Bad when being such shortened their life-spans.
“I’m going to get you something to eat,” Trent said to me, nodding at Ivy’s dark glare. “Ivy, you want anything?”
“Black coffee. Thanks,” she said as she sat down across from me, and Trent slipped away. His hand was already reaching for his phone as he settled in before the counter, where he could see me and the parking lot both.
My head drooped, and I said nothing. She knew. She had to know. The heartache in her eyes was too deep to not.
“You should have called me,” she said softly.
I looked up, feeling as if I’d been dragged behind horses. “What would you have done?”
Ivy licked her lips, a flash of fang showing as she watched Trent, his back to us as he quietly persuaded someone on his phone. “Taken you home instead of a coffeehouse?” she said. “I’m sorry. Rachel, I’m so sorry.” Her hand reached out to cover mine, and I choked. “The Order is trying to keep what happened quiet, but I was with Pike and Constance when the news came in. Landon is not saying anything, either. I think he’s hoping that if he claims ignorance, the dewar won’t uninstall him.”
My eyes dropped to Bis, his tail curled around my pinkie like a ring. “At least he’s alive,” I said, hardly breathing the words.
And Bis wasn’t, not really.
“I wish I had something to say to make it better,” Ivy said as her hand slipped away.
My hand fisted around one of Mark’s scratchy napkins, then relaxed. “There’s nothing to say. I asked for the Goddess’s help, and she gave it. It’s my fault.” How many times had I been warned that when you ask a deity for help, it might be answered in a way that pleased her, not you?
“Your fault?” Ivy made a scoffing sound. “Rachel, I’m the first to say you make a lot of mistakes, but Bis made his own decision. The Goddess had nothing to do with it.”
I said nothing. I knew better.
“How is he still alive without his soul?” she said when she looked around the edge of the table, and the pain rushed right back, taking my breath away in its shocking suddenness.
Mark was coming over with a cup of takeout for Ivy, sparing me from answering. Ivy reached for her coffee, frowning at me until I took a sip of that new skinny demon grande that Trent had given me. “Thanks, Mark,” I said, putting off the tears with the sweet cinnamon taste, and after hesitating a moment, Mark retreated.
“I don’t know,” I said when I thought I could talk again. “Maybe gargoyles are different. They were created by the demons. Maybe they can survive without a soul.” My gaze rose to the scratched baby bottle. “There has to be a way to get his soul out without letting the baku out, too.”
“What part of we’re closed don’t you get?” Mark muttered from behind the counter, and I followed his attention to the dawn-bright parking lot. A black car had pulled up, two severe-looking men scrambling out of it as they chased after Zack and the sparkle of pixy dust. The kid was decked out in a new suit, but he was still in his sneakers. His big feet were probably hard to fit on such short notice. His eyes were wide in worry