A snarl ripped from his diaphragm and he tugged me against him, flattening his strong hands against my back, his arms locking around me tightly. He lowered his mouth against my ear and rasped, “I haven’t denied myself anything in a thousand years. Resisting you is taking every ounce of everything I’ve got. My beast is clawing me from the inside out, fighting me to make this official. All I can think about is throwing you down on the grass and taking you from every angle I possibly can. Repeatedly.” A small moan escaped my lips. “But if we do that, we will be lost to it for hours and we can’t afford it right now. Your safety is more important to me.” A low sound from the center of his chest spread outward and made my toes curl. “And you better believe that when I take you, I take you on my terms”—he ended on a whisper—“repeatedly.”
Goose bumps covered my flesh.
I pressed my face into his chest and tried to recover. My brain was mush. I had to take a step back to regroup. Rourke had been around a lot longer and his control was impeccable. I was a newborn and mine was not. “Rourke, how old are you?” I tilted my head up at him.
His expression held a glint of surprise. “I haven’t answered a question like that in a very long time.”
I shrugged. “We’re a couple now, and it’s time for us to be on the level about everything or this won’t work. I don’t know what you are—only that you’re a cat of some kind. I think the basics are in order here. Don’t you agree?”
“Instead of answering, I’d rather show you. Reaching the top of the mountain will be quicker and easier in our animal forms. Once we change back, we can talk.” His voice held an intensity I couldn’t place. Was he really worried what I’d think?
“Listen,” I said, placing my palms on his pecs. “I don’t care what you are, or even how old you are. We’re way past that. None of it matters. You could be a two-thousand-year-old Griffin and it wouldn’t matter to me.”
He laughed. It was a rough, rich sound. “I’m no Griffin, but it’s better if I show you.”
I hesitated, reading his gaze.
He was anxious.
“Okay.” I turned toward the river. “Where do you want to shift? And I hope you have spare clothes at the cabin, because mine aren’t going to magically morph there.”
He took my hand and led me toward the water. “I have extra clothes, but you’ll have to make do with mine until everything is settled up top. I’ll come back down and get yours when we’re done dealing with Ray. Let’s cross the river before we shift. We’re fairly close to the sulfur stream, and it’s straight up from there. Since we’re shifting, it doesn’t make sense to douse ourselves—sulfur won’t mask our animal scents. They are way too strong.”
I followed him into the river. The water wasn’t that deep and we managed to cross to the other side without getting totally soaked. It was dark as night in the forest. He guided me to a small grassy patch. “You change here and I’ll shift over there.” He pointed to bushes twenty paces away. “I haven’t been in front of anyone in my true form in longer than I can remember. I don’t want to scare you, so let’s take it slow.”
I rubbed my arms absentmindedly. “You’re kind of freaking me out,” I admitted. “Should I be scared? And why don’t you have to change very often? I thought shifters needed the release—their bodies had to shift.”
He leaned down and planted a kiss on my forehead. “I don’t ever need to shift. Once you’re old enough, you gather power to yourself automatically and I’ve perfected it without shifting. I can’t do what you can do—and achieve a full suspended form—but I can reach my beast without a full change. It gives me more power than the average shifter, but it’s not like yours.” I’d seen him channel his beast when we’d fought the wolves, and then again with Selene. He was incredibly controlled. The only thing that had given him away both times had been the golden fur that had sprouted along his arms.
“How old is old enough?” I pressed, curiously.
He chuckled. “Old.”
Naomi’s words filtered through my mind. When we’d been on the road, she’d informed me there had been rumors Rourke was close to acquiring a godhood, which was the ultimate mix of power and immortality for a supernatural. You had to be old enough, powerful enough, and have a god or goddess as your patron. But it wasn’t something I felt comfortable asking yet. We hadn’t even consummated our relationship. Chatting about possible god-ness sounded too over the top, especially since he was shy about telling me what kind of cat he was.
I pushed it out of my mind for now. “Okay”—I looked around—“this is as good a spot as any. I’ll change here.” Without waiting, I reached down and grabbed the end of my shirt and pulled it over my head. Rourke stood watching me, and I grinned as I tossed it away. “You better get a move on, Big Boy. You don’t want to risk jumping me once I’m na**d. Or I might just jump you, so you better leave while you still can.”
Reluctantly he turned and left. I shimmied out of my leggings and lay down completely na**d in the cool grass. Summer was moving on and the nights were getting chilly, especially in the mountains. My ni**les budded painfully and I forced myself to ignore how much they ached.
“Are you ready?” Rourke called from his spot. His voice sounded strained and I knew without a doubt he could see me and it was killing him.
I felt a little better. At least I wasn’t the only letch in town.
“Ready.” I switched control to my wolf on a thought.
The shift was smooth and effortless.
My body had become more accustomed to shifting with each change. The first time had been a train wreck. I’d fought it with everything I had, and it had been the worst thing I could’ve done. Now it felt natural and fluid. My back arched as my legs extended. Fur sprouted along my skin like a soft blanket.
The change took less than a minute.
Once I was finished, I blinked and glanced around. The night was clear. Everything was more detailed and easier to see in this form. We called our animal form our “true form” because it was our body’s most natural form. We hailed from humans, spent most of our time in a human form, but animals were our true nature. It felt unbelievably free to be in this body. This is what all shifters craved.
I lifted my muzzle to the sky, resisting the urge to howl. The darkness wasn’t absolute. Instead objects glowed around me in an amber haze, my eyes gathering light from everywhere so I could detect the smallest details. As I stood, I inhaled, raking air in over my sensitive tongue, tasting all the flavors of the night.
Then his scent hit me.
My wolf barked and our voice carried into the night sky. We were linked so closely in this form that control hung on a blink. My heart began to race as his musk engulfed us. I was in control now, but my wolf was agitated and a low growl escaped.