because of the people they were. They’d given so much of themselves to their pack, and it had ultimately cost them their lives. Jacque knew that Vasile and Alina would have had it no other way. They didn’t back down from a fight, especially when it was the right thing to do. But it had cost a son his parents, a daughter-in-law her new family, and a grandson the chance to know his grandparents. The price was incredibly steep, and Jacque wasn’t sure the sacrifice would even be worth it.
She pressed her forehead to the wall and tried to take a breath, but her lungs wouldn’t expand. The walls felt as if they were closing in on her. Not only had she lost Alina, but now she’d been placed in the former female alpha’s shoes, and they were shoes Jacque knew she wasn’t worthy to fill.
“Why them?” Jacque wasn’t speaking blindly. She was addressing the Great Luna. “Why did you have to take them? Of every damn person on the battlefield, why them?” It was horrible of Jacque to think that someone else’s death would have been acceptable, but she felt like she could have handled it better if it had been someone else. Maybe it was because she was feeling Fane’s grief, and maybe it had something to do with the new pack bond that had attached her and Fane to the rest of the pack. Whatever it was, all Jacque knew was that at any moment she was going to fall beneath the anguish building inside of her. No person could hurt this much and not shatter.
She tried hard not to let her pain seep through the bond to Fane, but she couldn’t close it down completely or it would make things worse for him. He needed to be able to feel her presence to keep his wolf from taking over.
She didn’t get an answer from the Great Luna, not that she’d really expected the goddess to pop into her prison and sit down for a chat. Jacque didn’t know if any answer would help with the loss. She heard Slate’s little voice, just a sound of discomfort, and she immediately wiped her tears away and took a deep breath. She turned and walked over to the bassinet. Slate was wiggling, trying to escape the blanket in which he was swaddled.
“He’s strong.” Alina’s voice filled her mind, a memory of a conversation they’d had one night when Slate had refused to sleep, and Jacque was exhausted.
Jacque sighed. “He’s stubborn.”
Alina took Slate from her arms and began to slowly walk around the living area of their suite. “Rest, Jacquelyn,” Alina said. “Let me see if I can bring the little wolf to heel.”
If anyone could, it would be Alina.
“She’s not here, little wolf,” Jacque said as she leaned down and unwrapped her pissed-off son. He was practically glaring at the blanket wrapped around his arm. “You’re stuck with me.” She pulled off the offending blanket and lifted him into her arms. Jacque held him so he could look over her shoulder. Alina had made the comment once how Slate was just like Fane. Fane had always wanted to be up where he could see everything that was happening around him. He hated to lay down if he was awake.
“I got so tired of trying to rock him to sleep that I just let him bounce himself to sleep in his bouncy,” Alina said with a good-hearted laugh. “And I didn’t take him out after he fell asleep. I just let him stay there because I knew the minute I touched him, he’d wake up.”
“Dammit,” Jacque huffed out as she shook her head, trying to keep the tears from falling. As much as she knew the memories would be good, at the moment, remembering hurt so deeply.
As if her mind simply enjoyed torturing her, a memory of Vasile rose unbidden as she patted Slate’s back. Vasile had visited her one evening a few nights after she and Fane had been pulled from the edge of death. Fane had been asleep on the couch with Slate on his chest, also sound asleep. When she’d answered the door, she’d told him that Fane was asleep but to her surprise he’d said, “I’m not here to speak to my son. I’m here to speak with my daughter.”
More tears filled Jacque’s eyes at the word he’d used. He’d claimed her as his, and though Dillon was her biological father, she’d never really had a