hold it inside, over time it will eat you from the inside out. You have got to let yourself grieve.”
Fane took several deep breaths, letting her scent flow over him and into him. His wolf hurt just as badly as the man. To his beast, Vasile hadn’t just been his alpha. He’d been his sire. He’d been there through his first phase. He’d been there for his first hunt. He’d been there when Fane had been confused about why he’d felt the strong pull to go to the U.S.A. And through it all, his wolf had had the guidance of Vasile’s own beast. Their wolves had been as close as father and son had been.
“It hurts,” he whispered through clenched teeth as tears began to fill his eyes. Jacque was right. In front of everyone, he’d felt it was important that they saw him as capable of leading. His wolf needed to exert his dominance so that none would dare challenge him. His father had chosen him to take his place, and Fane would not shy away from the responsibility, no matter that it fell on his shoulders much sooner than he’d ever expected. But now, there was no audience. There was no one to be strong for. His mate would always accept every part of him. She would never shame him for his emotions, no matter what he felt.
“It does,” Jacque agreed. “A physical wound would be less painful, of that I know full well.”
“It’s wrong of me to wish it were someone else. But dammit I do, Jacquelyn. I wish it were someone else.” He would never utter such a confession to anyone else. And he would probably feel differently given time to heal. He hoped he would feel differently because his mother would not approve.
“You won’t always feel this way,” his mate said, having heard his thoughts. “Let’s just focus on now. We can worry about everything else when it’s time.”
He took several more deep breaths and then stood up straight, turning his head to face the door once again. He reached out, forced his hand to grip the handle, and pushed it open. Jacque stayed by his side, her hand holding on to his. “I’m right here with you,” she said through the bond as they stepped into the room.
Their scent hit him the second he took his first breath, and suddenly he was a child again, running through the trees as his mom chased him. He could hear her laughter as she searched for him.
“I can smell you, little wolf,” she teased.
“You have to go down wind, Fane,” his father called out from where he stood watching their game of predator versus prey.
Fane took another breath, and he was sitting on his bed, his arms resting on his legs as he stared at the floor.
“You’re sure that’s where you need to go?” his father asked.
Fane nodded. “Texas. A town called Coldspring.”
“I would normally say it’s impossible, son, but I’m learning that nothing is impossible with the Great Luna. If your wolf’s instincts are saying that’s where your mate is, then we will support you. We love you more than you can possibly understand.”
“I understand now,” Fane whispered into the room as he finally let his gaze rest on their still forms. “Because I love you just as much.” He closed the space between them and stared down first at his father. His eyes were closed, and his face looked peaceful, as if he were asleep and would wake up any moment. “You gave me everything.” He reached out and placed his hand over the place where his dad's heart should have beat. “You taught me to succeed, but you also taught me to fail, because I would learn more from my failure than I ever would from my success.
“But there is so much more I need to learn from you. I’m not ready to say goodbye. Not yet.” Fane clenched his jaw as he stared at his father, his alpha. He wanted the man’s eyes to open, and when they didn’t, Fane wanted to scream at him to wake up, to quit torturing him with this charade. But this was no farce. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to his father’s forehead. When he rose back up, he bared his throat to his alpha for the last time.
He stepped back and looked at Jacquelyn. He could feel her need and motioned for her to move closer. She stepped in front of him, and Fane