"Yeah," he said. "I used to do a lot of that kind of stuff for my mom, building sets and all. I'm pretty good with my hands."
Nina's elbow was suddenly in Julia's gut. Lance, thankfully, didn't notice.
"It would have been a good gig for me, but I didn't get it. Nina's right, though," he said, filling his mouth with popcorn. "Those guys are actors."
Caroline was glued to the set. "He really knows how to use that sander," she said.
"Caroline!" Julia said, a little surprised at her sister.
"I can't help it." Caroline shrugged. "Every time I ask Steve to do something around the house, he lectures me about comparative advantage and reminds me what an hour of his time bills for at the firm. Do you know how many times I've seen Steve pick up a nail gun, or anything else, for that matter?"
"Do we really want to see Steve with a nail gun?" Nina asked.
"You have a brand-new house, Caroline," Julia said. "You don't need to be married to Mr. Fix-it."
"Well, I wouldn't mind being married to Mr. Knows-how-to-unload-the-dishwasher," Caroline said under her breath.
When Felicia began instructing homeowners on how to wallpaper their den with old newspapers, Nina shifted and dramatically covered her eyes. "Oh, it's too painful. I can't watch anymore. I have to go. Caroline, are you ready?"
"Why? Can't we stay a little longer?"
Julia's jaw dropped. She'd never seen her sister do anything hut rush toward her children. Caroline had already spent the better part of a day away from them. She couldn't imagine what force of nature could have brought about such change. Then, she remembered. "So, how's the memoir coming along?"
Caroline rolled her eyes. "Did you know that Ro-Ro had seven different dogs when she was growing up? I do. I even know their names. I know how big they were. I know how she disposed of their bodies when they died."
"I suppose that came in handy," Nina said. "You know, for later."
"Why does this always happen to me?" Caroline cried in disbelief.
"You're a nice person. It comes with the territory," Nina said. "Or so I hear."
Julia asked, "So where is Ro-Ro now?"
"She wants the memoir to include excerpts from her fans. As we speak, she has called an emergency meeting of the Georgias. They're going to put together some notes and get back to me."
"I am so sorry, Caroline," Julia said, meaning it. "Being forced to work with Ro-Ro and the Georgias. No one deserves that."
"At least she gave me last night off. Although, technically, I was supposed to use that as an opportunity to scout locations for a series of tasteful black-and-white photos she wants throughout the book. Because, of course, I don't have anything else to do." She looked at her sister. "We finally got her settled back at her place, and for once, Steve agreed to stay with the kids. I know they're probably burning the house down even as we speak, but I just can't go back, not yet. She might call there, but she'd never call here."
"Why won't she call here?" Nina asked.
Julia and Caroline said in unison, "It's a long-distance call."
"Ah," Nina said, understanding. "The cheapness pays off."
Caroline added, "Hallelujah."
Just then, the phone rang, and Caroline and Julia looked at each other as if they'd just jinxed themselves and Ro-Ro had invested in nationwide long distance or, Heaven forbid, a cell phone. But Julia checked the caller ID this time, and then picked up. "Hello, mother," she said.
"Julia, it's your mother," Madelyn said, disregarding Julia's greeting. "Your father and I were driving past your house just now, and . . . well. . . you should turn on Channel Two."
Despite Nina's disdain for Decorating Derby, she still cried "Hey" when Julia took the remote control and changed the channel to the Tulsa NBC affiliate. Her cries were silenced, however, by the sight of Richard Stone's smirk.
"Who's that?" Caroline asked.
"My agent," Lance said as his heart fell to the pit of his stomach.
All around the little man, spotlights shone through the early-evening air. Julia leaned closer to the screen, squinting, trying to imagine why the scene looked so familiar. "That's my mailbox!" she yelled. "He's here! He's by the front gate!"