All They Need - By Sarah Mayberry Page 0,85
him only to see good things in her.
She thought about the way he’d held her afterward, the way he’d kissed her temple so tenderly, so gently, and the way he’d made love to her tonight, as though she was the most precious thing in the world to him, and her tears fell faster. More than anything she wished she could give him what he wanted, what he needed. He deserved to be happy. She wished she was braver. She wished she had the courage to throw caution to the wind and leap feetfirst into everything he offered.
A sob rose in her throat and she swallowed it, using her fingers to wipe her tears away. Breathing through her mouth, she took deep belly breaths until she’d calmed herself.
I’m not going anywhere.
He’d said those words to her only a couple of hours ago, so there was no need for her to be lying here crying and grieving over a loss that hadn’t happened. He’d heard her, he’d understood her and he wasn’t going anywhere.
She turned toward him, wrapping her arms around his body from behind, curving her legs to fit behind his. He stirred in his sleep, his hand settling over hers to keep her arm in place. She lay her cheek against his back and inhaled his scent and allowed her body to absorb his calm, solid warmth.
Slowly, by small degrees, she drifted off to sleep. She woke to the feel of his mouth on her breasts the next morning and they had lazy morning sex before Flynn rolled out of bed and hit the shower. She joined him and left when he did, waving out the window of her car as he headed to work in the Aston.
She was aware of a certain tremulous fragility within herself as she took the ramp to the freeway. She reminded herself that while last night had been hard, they’d survived it. Flynn knew where she stood, and he knew why, and he hadn’t pushed her away or become angry or demanding or resentful.
They were going to be okay. For the short term, anyway.
She bit her lip as she thought about what she was asking of Flynn in the long term, what she was asking him to give up, then quickly pushed the thought away. Tomorrow was tomorrow. Right now—today—things were okay. That was what she needed to concentrate on.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
THE NEXT MONTH SLIPPED through Mel’s fingers like water. She spent every weekend with Flynn, and at least one night during the week. They worked in the garden at Summerlea, pruning the orchard rather brutally, and Flynn insisted on helping her plant her new vegetable garden, even though she told him she could easily do it on her own during the week.
Flynn was late getting home twice when she stayed with him in Melbourne, but he didn’t raise the subject of the spare key again, even though she half expected him to. He didn’t touch on any subjects that might make her uncomfortable. He continued to call her on the nights they weren’t together, he sent her emails, he made love to her with a single-minded devotion that never failed to drive her wild.
He was perfect. Not once, not by a slip of the tongue or a sideways glance or a hesitation, did he let on that he wanted more from her than she was willing to give, and yet the sense that there was something looming on the horizon—a crisis, a reckoning, an ultimatum—kept growing inside her.
She told herself that when the flash point came she had to be prepared to give Flynn his freedom. He wanted something from her that she could never give him, and it would be selfish of her to hang on to him on that basis. Selfish and greedy and ultimately destructive, for both of them.
She brooded on the subject on a rainy Wednesday night five weeks after he’d offered her his house key. She was in her car in front of Flynn’s place, waiting for him to come home from work. He’d already called so she knew he’d left the office on time, but she’d had a good run on the freeway and arrived earlier than she’d anticipated. She kept the engine running to ward off the chill, staring out her windshield, thinking about Flynn and all the good times they’d shared together.
The more she thought, the glummer she got, until she got to the point where she had to give herself a mental shake.
What’s wrong with