to answer him, how to speak with him, but maybe knowing wasn’t important, because he answered, No, baby. You’re not coming to see me. Not yet. And not for a long time. Just stay strong.
Don’t leave me! I cried, certain he was about to leave, about to abandon me again.
Never. I promise.
Why are you only talking to me now?
It was harder to get to you.
Why?
I don’t know. He sounded sad. Time?
Time? What did he mean by that?
I didn’t understand, but I didn’t need to. I just needed to know he was there. With me. That I wasn’t alone. That one of my most favorite people in the whole world was there with me.
I love you, baby. You’ve been so good. So brave. So strong.
Daddy?
Yes, sweetheart.
I need to pee. So bad.
You do what you need to, baby. His voice changed, deepened. I knew what that meant, had heard Daddy Wolfe go from amused to angry in the blink of an eye. Never at me or Momma, but usually at my brothers.
Like that time Seamus had decided to climb onto the clubhouse roof. He’d been amused until my momma had come out, seen him, then dropped to her knees and started sobbing. Daddy Flame had hushed her, even as Daddy Wolfe, seeing her distress, had screamed at Seamus to stay put, not to move ‘a goddamn motherfucking inch.’
My daddies swore a lot.
I was used to it.
Shame filled me as I allowed my bladder to release. It hurt. That was how long I’d been holding it. It burned so badly, but there was also a sweet relief. It felt so wrong. I hadn’t wet myself since I was a little girl, and to do this now? When Daddy was there? I bowed my head, utterly miserable, not just from where I was and who had captured me, but because I had wet myself like a three-year-old.
The floorboards creaked and I tensed, knowing full well what that meant.
Aaron was capable of a stillness that went on for so long, it creeped me out. Maybe he was sleeping in those long stretches of time where there was no sound, but I heard no change in his breathing. Nothing that told me he’d begun to rest.
Mostly, he was all over the place with his movements, and the floorboards told me where he was, if he was close or far.
Now?
He was close.
My heart began to pound as terror flooded me.
“Dirty bitch,” he howled as he tugged the blindfold down to my chin so he could glower at me. “I just stepped in it!”
My mouth quivered as I stared up at him. The only reason my eyes didn’t ache was because it was so dark in here, so dark that there was barely any difference between having my eyes covered up and exposed.
When his fist came again, I screamed as the pain hit me. He’d already hurt my nose twice, but this time?
My scream was a mixture of my terror, bewilderment, and agony, and when I released it, it was like that was the trigger for my salvation.
Even as tears flooded my eyes, making my vision blurry, I saw him. He came through the window, rolling through it like some kind of ninja from one of those stupid cartoons Jamie liked watching.
One second, Ink was rolling onto the ground, and the next? He was there. With barely any squeaking from the floorboards, he was behind Aaron, holding a gun to the temple of the boy I’d known so long ago and now didn’t know at all.
His gaze cut to mine, and he whispered, “Ama, close your eyes and don’t listen.”
I couldn’t move my hands to my ears to hide from the noise, but I closed my eyes and hummed, knowing what he was about to do, knowing but uncaring.
Guns were everywhere. We made them on the compound. Daddy Flame was going to teach me how to use one when I was old enough, and I knew what they could do. Had seen Jamie’s dad, Rodeo, come back, his arm bleeding from the hole a bullet had made in it.
When I heard the blast, I knew what it was, and flinched.
Aaron didn’t even moan.
Didn’t make a sound.
Hands suddenly cupped my chin. “Ama, open your eyes. You’re safe now.”
As I caught his gaze with mine, I took a deep breath. The stench around me made itself known and my cheeks blossomed with embarrassed heat, but mostly, I just wanted to be what he said.