Wolfe had hauled me into Dad’s office the second I’d made it inside the clubhouse where Bomber had proceeded to rail me.
Truth was, for the first time in my life, I’d been terrified. There hadn’t been an ounce of pity in his face. I was used to that, but in this situation, I knew brothers were killed for less. Fuck, if I’d been a brother, they’d have dragged me to The Pit, a room in the clubhouse I wasn’t supposed to know about, killed me, and fed me to the pigs at the farm the MC frequented to dispose of their little ‘accidents.’
That I’d been exiled was a blessing.
That Ryan had been allowed to leave with me? Well, I wasn’t sure why, because my father had been more than capable of making sure he stayed—
Wait.
My throat felt tight as I whispered, “Why did my dad let Ryan leave with me?”
Flame shrugged. “Why wouldn’t he?”
I twisted in my seat to gape at him. “You’re kidding me, right? You’re a Rebel until you die, Flame. But he let Ryan leave. Why?”
“To keep you safe, Lucie. You were still his daughter—”
At the face Flame pulled, I realized he’d just heard the mistake he’d made. “Yeah, we both know that totally makes sense,” I scoffed. “He knew I wasn’t his, so he didn’t have to go gentle with me. But he did, he assured my safety by letting Ryan go with me. Why?”
What happened, Ryan?
Of course, he didn’t answer. He never did. He only popped up at frustrating moments to scare the shit out of me and make me think I was going crazy.
Wolfe’s brow puckered, as he slowly stated, “I have to admit, I never really thought about it. I was too busy getting high and drunk and fucking anything that moved in the aftermath.”
I scowled at him. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?” That Wolfe had sunk to taking drugs blew my goddamn mind. The sex? Hell, I wasn’t stupid. I didn’t even want to know where they’d been. It was why I’d asked if they were clean though. Man whores.
“Yeah, actually, it is,” he rumbled. “Any other traitorous bitch, I’d have celebrated instead of trying to forget every fucking day, until I began waking up and you weren’t the first thing on my goddamn mind.”
As I gaped at him, I processed that, for Wolfe, that was probably one of the most romantic things I’d ever hear spill from his lips.
My mouth quivered as I dug my nails into my upper thighs, needing to ground myself before I flung myself at him and made him aware of what his words did to me.
Flame rasped, “We were miserable for a long time, Lucie.”
“Yeah,” Dagger inserted gruffly. “Things were shit. And then dickface over there got married to that bitch and shit derailed even faster.”
Wolfe flipped him the bird before he squatted down in front of me. With his back to the railing, he sat with his legs sprawled flat in front of him. “You’re right, Lucie. Bomber would never have let Kid go if he didn’t want him to.”
“But, why? I thought everyone loved Ryan?” I queried, trying to hide from how much it hurt to hear his road name.
“Yeah, I thought so too,” Flame replied, and suddenly, the lighter was out and the hiss and spit of it as he brought it to life interrupted the suddenly heavy silence.
“We might never find out the reason, guys,” Dagger said softly. “Both of them are dead and the dead don’t talk.”
Tension whirled around inside me because I knew this was important. Knew this mattered. They weren’t wrong about the aftermath of that day. With my world in pieces at my feet, I’d spent the subsequent weeks in deep mourning. I’d missed them like I’d miss my left hand if it was amputated.
Being without them had been a living hell.
Until that point, every single day of my eighteen years had involved them all. There hadn’t been a day where I didn’t see them, and when they’d been moved into the clubhouse, that had only deepened because I’d eaten with them, spent all my time with them. Doing without them had been pure torture.
Because that memory was enough to make tears fall and I wasn’t a fucking crier, I ground out, “Okay, we need to move on from that. Agreed?”
Silence fell at my words, and I knew it was because I’d surprised them. Maybe they thought I’d hold a