household you got, but just give them time. Give them a bit of space too, but also, never make them feel less than the other. They’re all equals, and don’t let them forget it.”
Her words, spoken from experience, had me frowning. “Did you have problems with the daddies?”
“Sometimes. Not often.” She blew out a breath. “After Matty, I wasn’t supposed to get pregnant again. When you were thirteen, it happened. I didn’t make it happen, but it happened, and the doctor said it could kill me if I carried to term. I refused to get an abortion and those days were mighty stressful.
“When I said I wouldn’t have an abortion, they were mad at me. Said I was being selfish because I had you and the boys and them to think of, but I just couldn’t do it—not sure they’ve ever forgiven me for that.”
My mouth dropped open at that revelation. “I never knew.”
“Made sure you didn’t.”
“What happened?”
“Nature happened. Had a miscarriage. They were mad at me for such a long time.” She whistled under her breath. “Mad at me for daring to risk myself when they said that I knew what that would do to them.” She cleared her throat. “I just couldn’t take away something that was born of them and me. But I understand… for a few months, things were rough. I thought they might have—” She sucked down some air. “But they swore they didn’t cheat, and I have no real reason to believe they did. Every now and then, doubt creeps in, and you just have to have faith in what you’re building, baby.”
When I swallowed, it was hard. Like I was trying to swallow an orange. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
“Been through plenty worse in my life than that, darling. I’m a survivor. As are you. Now, I didn’t mean to make you blue with all that talk—”
“No!” I interrupted. “Not at all. I needed that. Thank you. I love you so much.”
“Love you too, baby girl.” She huffed. “Dammit, Seamus, what’s that in your hair?”
My lips twitched. “What is it?”
“Bubble gum,” Lucie groused. “Baby, I gotta go.”
“See you later, Momma.”
“You will.”
As I cut the line, I heard footsteps outside the door. When boots appeared by the side of the bed, I had to admit, I froze a little. Deep inside, terror swirled around me as the past coalesced with the present.
Then, the guy beside the bed squatted down, and I got a whiff of the sexy aftershave Keys wore.
When he peered underneath the bed, I smiled at him and held out a hand. Expecting him to haul me out from under there, he rolled onto his side and scuttled toward me.
After he toed off his boots and kicked them away, I huddled into his side, and hugged him.
“You okay?” I asked gently.
“Nope.” He stared up at the bed board. “Can see why you like it down here.”
“Surprised you remembered.”
“I remember most things you say. But in the future, don’t want you sleeping down here. You need to nap, you tell me, and I’ll come and keep you comfortable.”
Grinning into his arm, I murmured, “Doubt we’d get much sleep done.”
“If you need sleep, I’ll just rest with you,” he replied gruffly. “This ain’t all just about sex, Ama. Hope you know that.”
I stilled, taken aback by his words. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing. Just spoke with my dad is all.”
“Oh.” I sucked down a sharp breath and closed my eyes. Hooking my leg over his hips, I tucked him close into me and whispered, “Take it it went badly?”
“Couldn’t have gone worse. The guards dragged him away from the phone.” He gulped. “Let’s hope it don’t wreck his chances of parole next year.”
I winced at the thought and rasped, “That’s not on you.” I squeezed him. “If he doesn’t get to come home early, that’s on him. What Kenzie did, that’s on her. Nothing that’s happened is because of you. You did what you could for her. You did more than most. You’re a wonderful son to your dad, and a brother she doesn’t deserve.”
When he lifted his arm and covered his face with it, a move I’d made more times in my life than I cared to count, I felt his tears deep in my soul.
I didn’t say anything. What was there to say? I understood his pain, understood where it was coming from, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to change it. But I could be there for