All or nothing (Love in chaos #1) - Missy Johnson Page 0,49
me feel like I’ve lost.
Pushing back my chair I leave the table so that someone else can use it and go outside hoping the fresh air will clear my head, but all it does is leave me with more unanswered questions. The other night with Liv, I didn't think about the bet once. All I could think about was her, how warm her skin was, how her lips felt against mine. I lean against the railing and stare out over the water, the same question burning over and over in my mind. Can I save both my company and still give my relationship with Liv a real chance?
My company is my world. I've spent my entire adult life making sure it flourishes. It’s always in the back of my mind, thinking up new details, plans and expansions. The idea that I can just give that up is insane to me. If I take Jake to court, I’m sure I’ll win. I was too drunk to sign that contract, but what damage will that do to my company? Jake won’t go down quietly. He’ll make sure my reputation is in ruins before he gives up. But if I marry Liv, how can she ever be sure that I was ever doing it for the right reasons? It would always be in the back of her mind that business comes first.
“I've seen you and that little lass getting closer. I take it you’re on a winner?”
I turn my head to see Claudia standing next to me. She's smiling. I smile back, though it comes out more as a grimace.
“Not really.”
She arches a single thin brow. “She turned you down, huh?”
“Actually, she said yes,” I admit. She tilts her face, looking at me like I've grown a second head.
“All right,” she sighs, and leans against the railing. “What's going on?”
I press my lips together, sighing through my nose. “I really like her,” I say. “I’m just worried she's going to think that I’m just marrying her for the sake of the bet.”
“Oh.” She pauses and then looks at me. “Well, are you?”
“No, I…” I lower my head, ashamed that it did start out that way. “Not anymore.”
“Does she know that?”
I huff. “I guess the next thing you're gonna tell me is to go and tell her that.”
“Hah! I knew you weren't a complete lost cause,” she says, winking.
“You're way smarter than I am,” I agree, nodding.
“I just have more life experience,” Claudia reasons.
“Isn’t that a polite way to say old?” I can’t resist teasing her.
“Watch it,” she grumbles. “I may be old, but I’m not above violence. How do you think my last husband died?”
I laugh at that. “How many have there been?”
“Three,” she admits nonchalantly. “But only the last one died.”
“I’m sorry,” I murmur. “You have kids?”
She shakes her head. “No kids either. Gets pretty lonely sometimes, but that's why I come on the cruises.” She shrugs like it’s not a big deal, but I can see the sadness in her eyes. “Not looking for a man, not even a pretty boy like you, but it beats not being alone all the time.”
I nod, feeling a strange moment of connection. Not wanting to feel alone is something I can kind of relate to.
“Do you have a cell?” I ask her. “I’ll give you my number, in case I need some more very blunt and obvious sense beaten into my skull. You can give me yours, in case you ever want some company.”
Claudia laughs and holds out her hand for my phone. Her hands shake as I give it to her. She puts her number in and then hands it back, brushing away what I’m pretty sure was a tear in her eye. I pretend not to notice and send her a text.
“There. Consider me on call.”
“You’re a good boy, Ben.” She pats my arm and gives me a warm smile. “She’d be silly not to see that. But for God's sake, go and communicate with her.”
I nod, looking up to see Liv walking toward me.
“Thanks Claudia,” I say with a smile.
Claudia wanders off, giving Liv and I some privacy. She smiles, but her eyes are red at the corners, like she’s been crying.
“Are you okay?” I ask her.
She flinches when I go to touch her and folds her arms across her chest.
“Are you sure you want to marry me? Like, really sure?” I ask. “I won't be upset if it’s not what you want.”
“I’m sure, Ben,” she replies. “I’m sorry, it’s not