“What’s there to think about? She’s my child, and she’s going to need a home.”
“It’s so awesome that that’s your first impulse, but you’re not under any obligation to do this. You know that, right?”
“I do. I know that, but it doesn’t matter. I want her. I’ve yearned for her from the minute I signed those papers. I knew it was the best thing for both of us at the time, but she’s right. Everything has changed for me since then.”
“For what it’s worth, I’d do the same thing in your shoes.”
“You would?”
“Absolutely. So I’m only playing devil’s advocate when I remind you of the list of things you want to do.”
“None of that matters now. The only thing that matters is Stella.” Her voice broke as she spoke of her child.
“That’s a beautiful name.”
Amanda nodded and covered her mouth, trying to contain the sob that came from the deepest part of her.
Landon put his arms around her and held her while she cried, smoothing his hand over her back.
They stayed like that for a long time, until the room had gone dark and her tears had subsided.
“Thank you.”
“I didn't do anything.”
“You were here, and that helped tremendously.”
“I’m happy to be here with you, and I’ll do whatever I can to make this easier for you.”
“I’m going to get to meet my daughter.”
“Yes, you are.”
Amanda thought of the trip to Paris she’d impulsively booked that would have to be canceled. Or, maybe she could take Stella with her.
Stella.
Her child wanted to meet her and maybe come to live with her. Emotions she’d never experienced before flooded her system in a wild burst of endorphins. “Maybe this is why I survived that fire. So I could be there for her.”
“Maybe so.”
“Wouldn’t that be something?”
Landon smiled and nodded. “It’s so sad about her mom, though. She’s going through a lot at only twelve.”
“I know. I thought that, too. This is so, so, so not about me...”
“It's a little bit about you.”
“I just, I wonder… How soon do you think I’ll get to meet her?”
“Probably pretty soon. If you call the agency in the morning, they’ll help you set something up.”
Amanda put her hand on her stomach, which was suddenly full of butterflies. “This day turned out much differently than I expected.”
“My Gramps always says, ‘You never know what’s around the next bend.’”
“It’s so true. I couldn’t have seen this one coming. That’s for sure.”
“Do you feel like you could eat?”
“I doubt it. I’m buzzing like I’ve had a dozen cups of coffee.”
“How about a movie, then?”
“I thought you had to work?”
“I do, but I have a radio, and I’ll get there eventually.”
“It’s fine if you go. I promise I’ll be okay. I’ll sit here and stare at the TV while I think about how I’m going to get to meet my daughter.”
Landon smiled at her. “I’m happy for you.”
“I’m happy for me, too, but I have to remember what she’s going through and keep telling myself it’s not about me.”
He took hold of her hand and brushed his lips over her knuckles. “I’m going to keep reminding you it’s about you, too. Of course it is.”
“I’ll understand if this is too much for you.”
“Huh? What? It’s not too much. Why would you think that?”
“We just started, you know, something… And this sort of changes the game.”
“It doesn’t change anything for me.”
“Even if it changes everything for me?”
“Even if. And for what it’s worth, Butler, Vermont, is a great place to raise kids.”
Amanda smiled and leaned in to kiss him. “Thank you for being so awesome. I’d be losing it if I was alone right now.”
He tightened his hold on her and kissed the top of her head. “You’re not alone anymore.”
Chapter Fifteen
“Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.”
—Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Landon went through the motions of heating up some of Ella’s lasagna for them and serving the salad his sister had made to go with it. After preparing a plate for Amanda and one for himself, he carried both into the living room where he’d left her sitting, and found her staring off into space. “Dinner is served.”
She took the plate from him. “Thank you.”
“I called the station, told them something has come up and to call me if they need me to come in. So I’m all yours tonight.” He had extra hours on the books from the night he was called in, and there would never be a better time to use them than tonight.