Ian surfaced in October, four months after he had disappeared, and returned pleased with the first draft of his new book, and delighted to see Coco again.
She showed him her creation too. Bethanie sound asleep in her crib, eight weeks old.
“She’s very pretty,” he said, fascinated by her. “She looks like you.”
“And like my mother too.” She wasn’t imagining it. Sam had even seen it on FaceTime.
Coco was back at the office full-time again by then, and an equal partner in the business. She had a nanny for Bethanie in the daytime and took care of her herself at night. She loved the time she spent with her.
They had the funding they needed now to advertise their business and hire more people. They were talking about moving to a bigger space than Leslie’s dining room.
Ian told her all about his book when he took her out to dinner. She got the nanny to stay late.
“I missed you,” he said, with a look of surprise.
“I missed you too.”
“How was it having the baby? Did it go okay? I was worried about you.” But not enough so to call her, which went against the grain with him, and would have implied commitment, which he didn’t want.
“It was scary and hard and gorgeous at the end. It hurts a lot, worse than I thought it would.”
“You’ll know for next time.” He smiled at her.
“I don’t want a next time unless I do it right with the right person. I don’t think you’re meant to go through stuff like this alone,” she said pensively. The whole experience had impressed her, and she was grateful that he was back. He admitted that he liked the house so much that he had been in London the whole time, but he still hadn’t called her. It was who he was and nothing was ever going to change him. She knew that.
“Maybe you’re not supposed to do it alone, but you did it, Coco, and it looks like you did a great job.”
They started seeing each other as much as they had before. He stayed at her house now, since she had to be there for the baby. He wasn’t around for her at important times, but he had an easy way of sliding into her life that worked for them both. He filled an empty space in her world, and fit right into it like the missing piece in a puzzle. She didn’t expect more of him than he was able to offer. She had no idea how long it would last, or when he’d disappear again, but for now, it was all she needed and had room for in her life too. His dog, Bruce, slept in the kitchen at night, and was happy to see them in the morning.
* * *
—
A month after Ian came back, Sam called her in the middle of the night for her. He was sobbing and at first she couldn’t understand him. His father had died during dinner of a heart attack. His mother was devastated, as were his siblings. No one had expected it and they were all turning to him. And he was heartbroken too. Now everything rested on his shoulders. The business, the family, his wife, a baby soon. It was overwhelming.
They talked until he calmed down, and she told him she would take the first plane out the next day. She had to bring the baby with her. She was only three months old, and Coco had gotten a passport for her, just a few weeks before, in case they ever went to New York.
“Are you really coming?” he asked, touched by the gesture. He had always been there for her too.
“Of course I’m coming. You were there for me when my parents died, weren’t you?” He had stayed with her for months, and visited her every day after that.
“We’ll be sitting shiva for the next week,” he explained.
“That’s when people come to visit, isn’t it?”
“And pray.”
“Will your mom let me come to that?”
“I’m the head of the family now. I make the rules,” he said somberly. He was so young. They both were, and had to take the reins so early. She knew how much his family expected of him, somehow it didn’t seem fair.
“I’ll text you when I know when I’m arriving. I’ll call you when I get to the apartment.” She called the housekeeper then, since it was dinnertime in New York. Theresa still