She was still wearing her white jeans and T-shirt, and a red sweater. It was chilly in New York, but a sunny day.
She took a cab to Sam’s apartment, and the doorman let her go upstairs. She rang the bell and was startled when Tamar answered and opened the door. The two women stood there looking at each other for a minute, and Coco could see that she’d been crying, and she looked like she was packing. There were boxes and suitcases all around her.
“Hi, Tamar. I’m sorry to barge in on you. Is Sam here?” They could go for a walk since Tamar was home, but she shook her head.
“No, he took the kids to the park.” And then she started to cry. “This isn’t as easy as he thinks, you know. It’s very hard.”
“I’m sure it is.” There were children and human beings involved, and two men. “I’m sorry.” She didn’t want to engage her further and hear the whole ugly story. She was on Sam’s side, not Tamar’s. She thanked her and left, and ran across the street to the park to find him. Their apartment was in the same building as his mother’s, which she was sure wasn’t easy for Tamar either, to have your mother-in-law breathing down your neck. She’d never had one, but it didn’t look pleasant to her, and she knew his mother and how tough she could be. Especially now that she knew Tamar had betrayed her son.
She saw Sam from a distance at the playground alone with the four kids. He looked surprised to see her as she approached him in her white jeans and red sweater with a purposeful look. He had the baby in a harness strapped to his back, and was helping Nathan tie his shoelaces. Ruth was clinging to his leg, and he had an eye on Hannah in the sandbox, happily shoveling sand into a pail. He needed ten hands and four sets of eyes to keep them in check. And there wasn’t a bottle of Cristal or a yacht anywhere in sight.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, trying to keep an eye on her and the children at the same time. “Theresa said you were in Saint Bart’s when I called you last night.”
“I was. I just got back.”
“Short trip,” he commented.
“Very.” He could guess who she had gone with, her life was a million miles from his now. He didn’t resent her for it, he just had no frame of reference given where his own life was.
“How did you know where I was?” he asked her.
“Tamar told me. I went to the apartment. It looks like she’s packing.”
“She’s moving out next week. We told the kids yesterday. They seem okay. I’m not sure how much they understand.” Coco nodded. “Why did you come back?” He was curious about it. She had a strange look on her face, half guilty, half scared. “Did something go wrong?”
“I forgot something. I almost made a terrible mistake, but I stopped it in time.”
“Did he do something bad?” He frowned.
“No, he was actually incredibly nice about it.”
“So what did you forget?”
“Something I knew in fourth grade, and somehow I managed to forget by fifth grade, and for the last twenty years. I don’t know how the hell I forgot it, but I did.”
“And what was that?” He didn’t know where she was going and he was bouncing a little from one foot to the other, to keep David quiet in the frame on his back.
“That I love you, Sam, always have and always will. That you’re the only man in the world I love, and who knows me and loves me anyway. I don’t know how the hell I got so distracted with all the glitter and the glamour and the bullshit. Saint Bart’s was just more of the same, private jet down, fabulous house, two-hundred-foot yacht, gorgeous swimming pool, lots of champagne.”
“Shit,” he said, grinning at her, “I’d have stayed. No one takes me on trips like that.”
“All I could think of while I was there was you,” she said, “and our kids, and everything we’ve both been through, and what you’re going through now with Tamar. I love you, Sam. You’re the flash for me. The only flash I want. I’m yours if you want me. You’re the only man I’ve ever really loved.” There were tears in her eyes and he stood staring at her with a look of wonder. She thought of