The Alien's Equal (Drixonian Warrior #7) - Ella Maven Page 0,42

for us. I had no regrets, but imagining our future right now caused too much pain. I couldn’t handle what I really wanted being taken away, so I couldn’t let myself go there. I dropped my hand from my stomach and shook my head. “Foolish, Justine,” I whispered to myself.

“What?”

“Nothing.” I clenched my teeth so hard, my jaw ached.

“What’s wrong?” He was a dog with a bone.

“I have to focus on what we have to do. I can’t think of anything else.”

He was quiet for a long time while an Uldani near us peered through a small crack in the boards of the warehouse walls. “That’s where we differ,” he said quietly. “I imagine what I want because it fuels me and gives me purpose. I think about my brothers happy on Corin and taking you to see devas shrines with our chit in my arms. I think about Gram and his Uldani followers living happily off the land without walls. I picture that, and I remember why I do what I do.”

Tears threatened and I blinked them back. Pain lanced through my heart. “Well that’s great for you, but I’m not strong enough to do that.”

“You are,” he said quietly. “You’re just afraid of the pain.”

I bristled. “Nero—”

“Vehicle is on its way,” Gram announced.

We both fell silent, but I could feel Nero nearly vibrating next to me. His jaw was hard, and I wasn’t much better. My stomach churned as I sought not to throw up the precious calories I’d consumed before we left the safety of the underground.

I forced everything out of my mind in a way I’d done many times in the past. Compartmentalizing was how I’d survived this long, and I’d be damned if my emotions got the best of me now.

Gram placed his three-fingered hand on the doorknob and glanced over this shoulder at us just as the steady whirring of a vehicle could be heard down the alley outside the wall.

Nero gave him a brief nod, Gram threw the door open, then we were in motion. Nero gripped my hand and pulled me along at his side as he slipped outside into the waiting open door of a vehicle. An Uldani sat behind the wheel watching us with narrowed eyes. As soon as my butt hit the seat, Nero pushed my head down and settled his bulk over me. I squirmed to bend my body into a more comfortable position just as the door to the car slammed and we were in motion.

My stomach dipped, and my gorge rose in my throat. That was another weakness I’d forgotten about—I got motion sickness, something I absolutely hated. Laying on my back on the seat with Nero over top of me did nothing to help. All I could feel was the car dipping and turning, but I couldn’t see out, which made my head swim.

Gram had explained why we needed to hide once we were in the car. Our driver would be entering the patrol caravan, and headlights from the other vehicles would periodically be sweeping into our car. Obviously a big, blue, horned Drix and a human female spotted sitting casually in the backseat wouldn’t end well for any of us.

Nero’s all-seeing eyes peered down at me. “Why do you look ill?”

“It’s the motion of the car,” I tried to explain. I doubted the Drix had anything equivalent, the flawless bastards.

He frowned. “It makes you sick?”

“I’ll be fine.” I closed my eyes and worked on breathing properly.

“Am I crushing you?”

“No.”

His expression softened, and I held up a hand. “Don’t.”

“I’m sorry I said something to upset you—”

“Nero, not now. Please. I beg you. Just … not now.”

I couldn’t deal with him being sweet. This wasn’t the time for a heart-to-heart, and he must have realized that too, because he clamped his lips shut and his eyes went hard. He turned away from me, and at once I wished for the warmth of his violet eyes to soothe the nerves ravaging my senses.

“Three more patrol lanes and we’ll be close to the hub,” our driver said. Belatedly, he added in a faint voice. “I’m Jarapin.”

Nero didn’t respond, which seemed rude, so I spoke up. “I’m Justine, and this is Nero.”

Jarapin banked a sharp turn and then said, “Thank you for doing this.”

His voice rang with a sincerity that made me forget about my nausea. “Thank you, Jarapin.”

“Never thought our salvation would ride on the shoulders of a Drix warrior and a human female.” Nero’s lips curled back