The Alien's Equal (Drixonian Warrior #7) - Ella Maven Page 0,23
thing about trauma was that it wasn’t one and done. I didn’t just magically get over it and keep plowing forward. There were setbacks. Relapses in mental health. And while I had been on a good path on Earth, coming here had dredged up a lot of old, out-of-control feelings I hadn’t dealt with since taking a step on Torin soil.
Nero was a safe space to lay out my past, and his anger over the way I’d been treated felt a little like vindication. “I… well okay. As soon as I was able, I left my aunt and uncle’s house and gained custody of my sister. She was still a kid then—she’s ten years younger than me. My uncle died shortly after in a car accident. I worked a job and went to school. I guess, you’d consider a trade school. That was where I learned graphic designed and programming.” I waved a hand at his control panel. “Tech stuff.”
He nodded.
“It took me longer than most people because I had to work and go to school. Most go to school full-time, but I was supporting me and my sister. But I—” I shrugged. “I didn’t want to have to rely on anyone ever again.”
He audibly ground his teeth before he asked, “Were there any males in your life?”
I pressed my lips together before answering. “A few.”
“Did they treat you with respect?”
I winced. Bradley had been a mistake I should have seen coming. I ignored the red flags. As soon as I realized how far I’d fallen under his control, I’d managed to drag myself out from under his thumb. I kicked him out the next day and changed the locks. “Not really, because I didn’t necessarily have a lot of respect for myself.”
His eyes blazed, and reached across the table, feeling the need to soothe him, which was crazy based on this conversation topic. “Hey, I made a lot of progress since then. On myself. Coming here has dredged up a lot of negative thoughts, but I’ve been better.”
“I don’t understand.” He was seething. I’d never seen Nero like this. “If you were Drixonian, you would have tested high on the aptitude tests. You would have been placed in the development fast track like my sisters, where you would have designed new programs, weapons—” his face fell as his voice caught. “You would have been revered.”
He said the last word on a near growl, and I felt the word seep into every pore of my skin. It washed away the grittiness I’d often felt, and the bone-deep fear I wasn’t enough. That there was something wrong with me
There wasn’t anything wrong with me. And the revelation was like a splash to the face with cold water. There was something wrong with my pervy uncle and the way females on Earth were treated. I’d just been born on the wrong damn planet and in the wrong fleshy body. I should have been born with blue skin and horns on Planet Corin.
“I don’t need to be revered,” I whispered. Because I didn’t need any male’s approval to be exalted. “I just need to be let free to fly as high as I want.”
“You are now,” he spoke through a clenched jaw, his eyes still firing. “With us, you’re revered and respected the way you always should have been. As soon as this war is over, you’ll be free to fly, Justine.”
I was not going to cry again. I wasn’t. But Nero’s figure turned a bit blurry until I had to sniff. It was then I realized the only light in the hut were the screens and the soft flickering of the lantern. It was sundown. My deadline.
Glancing out the dark window over my shoulder, I turned to find Nero watching me.
He sat with his back straight against the chair, one massive hand on his knee and the other still clenched on the tabletop.
Needing something to do with my hands, I cleared my throat and stood. With our leaf plates in my hand, I walked over to Nero’s trash bin and tossed the remnants of our dinner. I swiped my palms together and strolled along the front of his massive control fan. “So—” I turned only to find Nero in front of me. I hadn’t even heard him move. I made a squeak in surprise and then swallowed. “Um. So. It’s sundown.”
He flinched. So quick I nearly missed it, but it was there.
His throat worked and he ducked his head as he avoided