Every movement echoed in the massive building. I took out my leather journal from my purse. It was the same one I’d begun last year on the Day of the Dead. I’d been writing my emotions in it off and on since I’d bought it. I’d also been using it as a grimoire of sorts, to try and make up my own Unseelie spells, but mostly, the pages were full of my ruminations. I was still trying to work out my feelings about Ethan.
I grabbed a pen and began to write. Hours passed, and the pages filled. It was like I couldn’t write fast enough. So many emotions poured out of me onto that page. The morning passed into the afternoon, and still, I hadn’t gotten everything out.
When evening came and twilight rippled across the cathedral, I stared at the casket of King Lycus. “Help me,” I whispered. “Help me save your son.”
I didn’t hear words. Instead, I felt a calm weight press on my shoulder, as if Lycus was saying he was there.
“He’s in a really bad place.” A tear fell down my cheek. “I don’t know what else I can do. I don’t even know if it’s my responsibility to rescue him anymore. It’s out of my hands.”
The weight on my shoulder became firmer, then it drew away. I didn’t know if Lycus had heard me, but I prayed he’d do something from the Great Hunting Grounds to stop Ethan from succumbing to his terrible fate.
This was Milonna’s cathedral. Her presence was all around me. I was her champion. The gods worked in mysterious ways. Wouldn’t she help me?
I don’t even think the gods can do anything now, a soft voice in my heart whispered, and I nearly wept.
Most people had left the cathedral by now, but I heard heavy footsteps behind me. I barely looked up as Finlay sat beside me.
“Hey, Emma.” We stared at the casket instead of each other. He moved closer, but I felt the urge to pull away.
Something had changed between Finlay and I. I still had feelings for him, but they were overshadowed by everything in my life. I thought that once Ethan was gone, I’d be free to love Finlay, and move on.
Now that Ethan’s time was so near, I knew. My grief for him would ruin everything else. There’d be no moving on afterward.
Finlay cleared his throat. “Arthur told me I’d find you here. I think we need to talk about things.”
“About what?” My voice was hoarse.
Finlay frowned. “You’re a beautiful girl. And I want you more than anything else in this world, lass. Almost as much as I wanted my mate.”
“But?” I had to look at him now. He almost winced.
“But…” Finlay sighed. “I think your heart is still set on Ethan. And I don’t want to get in the way of that. I think it’s best for now if we cut things off, until you make up your mind.”
Such a declaration should’ve devastated me, but it barely caused me to blink. Finlay was more or less breaking up with me, but I just didn’t care. I nearly felt relieved.
“I never wanted to hurt you, Fin,” I said honestly. “I really do like you. You’re a great guy.”
“But I’m not the guy,” he insisted. “And I know that now.”
I swallowed. “I don’t know if Ethan’s the right guy, either. He’s… he’s very sick.”
“I’ve noticed.” Finlay looked away. “And yet something tells me you still want to fight for him, until the very end.”
“I don’t want you to think less of me,” I hurried to say. “I never wanted to use you.”
“I don’t think you did. There are no hard feelings between us. If I still had my mate, I know what I’d choose,” Finlay said. “You helped me move on from my loss, and I thank you for that.”
“I’m glad I could do something for you. Even if it wasn’t what you wanted.”
“You taught me that I could love again,” he said. “And though that’s wonderful, I think you should give Ethan another chance. I’ll be waiting if he’s not the right man for you.”
Finlay stood. He grasped my hand and gave it a squeeze. “I just want you to be happy, lass. I won’t fight for what’s not mine any longer.”
“I want you to be happy, too, Fin,” I said. “Someday you’ll find a sorceress who really loves you. She’ll be able to give you more than I ever could.”