The Alcazar (The Cerulean Duology #2) - Amy Ewing Page 0,92

nestled in the crook of the great tree—the walls were glass that formed a little dome with branches crawling up around them. A fireplace was built into the trunk, a small fire burning in its hearth. Her bed was laid with a comforter as red-gold as a sunset and there was a table made of polished river stones with two chairs on either side of it. A pitcher of water and a basin for her to wash with sat beside an armoire, and she scrubbed her face and then wiped it off with a soft, scented towel.

At last, Sera sank onto the edge of her bed and allowed the feelings she had so ardently refused to acknowledge to swell up around her. When she’d felt the shudderings and shiverings of desire that fluttered inside Bellamy during the memory share, she’d recognized them in herself, in a way she had not expected but now could not unsee or unfeel.

All the wriggles in her tummy when Leo said certain things, all the lurches in her heart or the weightlessness that would grip her . . . it had all sharpened so clearly to one solid point. Desire. She wanted Leo.

She was so unfamiliar with the rules and signs. She had only ever been attracted to James Roth, the handsome performer from Old Port City. She’d assumed that was how attraction worked, an instant thing that was known straightaway. She had certainly not felt any desire toward Leo when they first met. But she knew him now, had seen him change, and grown closer to him. So it appeared attraction could develop over time. She’d never imagined wanting someone else on this planet. She had been so focused on getting home, on going back to her City.

In the span of one memory, Sera’s whole world had shifted. Because this was no infatuation like with James; she knew it in her bones, in her soul, in everything that made her her. This was something much stronger and far scarier. Tentatively, she allowed her mind to imagine what it might be like, to touch Leo, to press her lips to his, to feel his arms around her, and not just in a friendly embrace. A knot of want clenched in her stomach so intensely it made her body jerk and her toes tingle, yet there was a distinct sense of panic there as well. She felt crushed beneath the weight of the silence in this room with nothing but the thought of Leo surrounding her.

She sat and let her mind replay so many memories, so many days that now meant something different from what they had before. How had she missed it? Now that she knew, it seemed so obvious.

Then a new thought seized her—what if Leo did not feel the same way? She wasn’t human, after all. Why would he be attracted to someone like her? Perhaps he saw her only as a friend. The concept was a twisting ache in her chest.

“You should not be worrying about this,” Sera said aloud to herself. “You are supposed to be focused on going home.”

What did it matter if Leo liked her or not—her City was where she belonged. But she found she could not stop wanting him. Desire overrode logic, it would seem. How frustrating. But wonderful. Yet scary. She wished there were someone she could talk to about this. A Cerulean, not a human, someone who knew her world and could help her understand on her own terms. She wondered again, as she had done when she finally spoke to Leela in the Sky Gardens, if there were others in her City like her, if she was not so wholly alone in this. But even if there were other Cerulean who were attracted to males, they were far away and could not help her here.

What advice would her purple mother give, she wondered. Surely attraction followed the same principles, regardless of the object.

Sera closed her eyes and imagined her mother’s voice in her head.

He would be a fool not to want you back, my darling, she could hear her say. She smiled and clutched the moonstone.

The knock on her door startled her. “Who is it?” she called.

“It’s me,” Leo said, and Sera’s heart leaped like a sun trout jumping for a fly.

“Oh,” she said, standing so quickly she felt dizzy. She opened the door and the sight of him, in a sweater the color of the sea and his curls tied back in a