tears streamed down my cheeks. I let the pain and devastation of his betrayal wash over me like a wave. Would he hate me for what I’d done? Would he grieve her? What would happen to our marriage? His eyes snapped open, and he took in my crying form. The guilt hit him almost immediately. He knew why I was here. Or at least he thought he did.
“What’s wrong?” he asked in his sleepy voice. I fished through my pockets and handed him both his and Violet’s phones. He looked down at them and groaned. “You know. How’d you get her phone?”
I ignored his question. I couldn’t answer him yet. My sanity was flickering in and out of focus. “How could you? I’ve always loved you. Supported your dreams. I worked hard for you to buy this shop. I raised our baby,” I cried out. It was wrong to yell at him when I committed the ultimate sin. But I needed this one moment. I needed it before he knew what kind of monster I was. I leaned over and wrapped him in a hug, sobbing against his neck as my body trembled. “How could you? I love you. I want you.” I just wanted one hug before he pulled away. One hug before he stopped loving me.
“I love you too,” he replied. He wouldn’t love me once he knew what I’d done. He sounded shocked that I wasn’t punching him or threatening divorce. I was too terrified of his reaction to think of punishing him. “We can work through this. I know we can,” he whispered against my hair while stroking my back. His tenderness made me cry harder. That thin thread of sanity was close to snapping again. Numbness burned the edges of my mind.
“I don’t think we can. I did something, Brian,” I admitted before shaking harder. More adrenaline flooded my system.
Brian pulled back and stared at me. “What did you do?”
“I was so mad. I just…” I broke. I felt split in two, devastated for what I’d done.
“What did you do?”
I cradled my head in my hands and sobbed, embracing the agony. “I killed her.”
Brian snapped his hand back and shot up. “You what?”
“I was just so mad. She texted you, and I went to talk to her about the b-baby.” Brian squeezed his eyes shut at the mention of the baby. That was another layer of pain blanketing us and our devastating story. “I couldn’t let her destroy our family, Brian. I love you too much. We can’t do this to Breeze. They’re going to arrest me. They’re going to arrest you for being with an underaged girl. I was just so angry. Please say you love me.” I craved his love still, despite it all. I wasn’t sure what that said about me—what did any of this say about me? I was a fucking murderer.
Brian started pacing his office, muttering curses as he went. “How? When? Where?”
I explained everything to him. I couldn’t describe the way my anger took over. I’d read about temporary insanity, but I now had a firsthand account. My emotions completely took over. Reason and empathy had fled my mind, leaving nothing but anger in its wake. I didn’t want to feel like a monster, but maybe that’s what I was. Maybe that’s why it was so easy to press the branch to her neck and cut off her air.
“Shit, Ally. This is bad.” He tried to hide the grief in his tone. He probably cared for her. It made me want to grab one of the sharp pencils on his desk and stab him in the eye.
“I know. They’ll take me away. Poor Breeze.” I sniffled.
Brian went rigid. “No,” he whispered. “This is my fault.”
“What?” I asked in shock while wiping at the snot that dripped from my nose. “What do you mean?”
“None of this would have happened if I had kept my dick in my pants. I love you, Allison. It’s always been you. I fucked up. I’m going to fix this, okay? Breeze needs at least one of her parents. I’m not going to let you suffer for this.”
“No, Brian, you can’t.”
He cupped my cheeks in his hands and stared at me. “I’ve not been a good husband to you, Ally. I cheated. I didn’t provide for you. You’ve always done it all. Please let me do one thing right. Just one thing.”
“Brian,” I sobbed before leaning forward to kiss him. His lips were still, but I