I started riding him again, this time harder. Faster. Our bodies smacked together, the slickness of my arousal making wet sounds fill the bus. I cried out, my body too sensitive. Kai bit his lip and held onto me. My legs burned from the movements. His eyes were hooded and hot, taking in the sight of me claiming him without a single hesitation. “Oh, oh fuck,” he rasped.
I felt him twitch inside of me. Kai came hard, his entire body tensing. I laid my head against his shoulder, both of us breathing heavily. When I was ready, I lifted myself off of Kai and settled beside him on the couch. He wrapped his arms around me, and I felt completely whole.
There was a red hot ball of dread settled deep inside my stomach. Kai, Chase, and I had decided to visit my father in prison. Visit was a strong word, confront was more accurate. We all wanted answers that only he could provide. I wanted him to look me in the eye and tell me about the affair, the baby, and murdering my best friend. I wanted him to see me and what he had taken from me. I wanted him to suffer with that knowledge. We still had a few months until the trial, but I couldn’t wait that long for closure.
Today was the day we were making the long journey to the prison, and all I wanted to do was hide. I was tempted to say that I was sick and we needed to reschedule, but the thought of reliving the agony I'd endured these last few weeks leading up to today's visit was more than I could handle. I was a ball of nervous energy, and I just wanted it over with so that I could move on, so that we could move on.
We took the Jeep since it was the only car that was big enough to fit us all comfortably. I was in no state to drive, so Kai volunteered, saying that driving would give him something to focus on other than what we were about to do. The trip felt like it was both too long and not long enough. My heart raced faster with every mile we put behind us. When we got on the ferry leading to the big island where he was housed, the reality of what we were doing set in. I wanted to turn around and go back to the safety of our home, but until now, I’d never gotten the chance to speak to my father. I never got the chance to look him in the eye and tell him how much he’d hurt me.
None of us spoke for almost the entire drive. We were all lost in our own thoughts, but Chase was particularly absent. He stared out the window, unmoving. Kai broke the silence when we were approaching the prison building.
“How is everybody doing?” he asked, as he followed the signs guiding us to the visitors’ entrance. “We can sit in the car as long as we need to. There’s no rush to go inside.”
I reminded myself why I was here and what I wanted to accomplish. I mentally told myself that I had all of the power in this situation and my father was nothing. I looked back at Chase, and he had the same look of determination in his eyes that I had in mine.
“We’re ready,” I said
I took Kai’s and Chase’s hands, and we all walked across the parking lot together, supporting each other. We entered the building and signed in one at a time, each handing over our driver’s licenses to the guard. We took turns passing through the metal detector, and once I was on the other side, I felt like I was going to be sick. “You can do this, Little Whisper,” Kai assured me as a guard led us to a room. Stations with thick glass partitions divided the space. I sat down on one of the stools and waited, with both Kai and Chase standing at my back.
I barely recognized my father when they brought him in. He wore a gray uniform, and his skin was pale. Long gone was his beachy glow. His hair was cut short, and he was growing a beard. His right eye was black, like he’d just gotten into a fight. When he sat down, he averted his eyes. I could see how ashamed he was,