they missed out on. I want Violet to be heard, despite it all.”
“You know you can still care about her, right?” I said. “Just because…everything…doesn’t mean you have to hate her for my benefit.”
“I know,” Chase said before pressing his lips into a thin line. I let out a puff of air, and he continued speaking. “I found an email addressed to you.”
I blinked. “What?”
“Yeah. It was in her drafts. Written the day before she was…”
I wasn’t sure I wanted to read it but knew I’d never feel closure unless I did. “May I?” I asked.
“Yeah. I’ll leave you to read it.”
I took the iPad from Chase’s hands and waited for him to go outside before setting my eyes on the words typed there. An eerie feeling settled over me. It was like Violet was sitting in the chair beside me, waiting to drop a bomb in my lap.
With a steadying breath, I started reading.
Dear Breeze,
I’ve typed this email many times, not sure where to start. I’ve been lying to you, Breeze, and I’m so scared that once you figure out what I’ve done, you’ll never want to speak to me again. You’re like a sister to me. I’ve always envied you. You have parents that love you. Good grades. A quiet soul that makes people lean in and hear what you have to whisper. I think we connected because I’ve always wanted to be loved, and you don’t know how to do anything but love. It’s in everything you do. You leave your heart wide open for the people lucky enough to know you.
Breeze. I’m pregnant. I betrayed you in the most horrendous ways. I can’t even say the father’s name out loud because I know that once I do, our sisterhood will be over. I don’t know if I love him or if I’m even capable of loving someone. I thought I did. But now I’m scared—so scared. He’s not the man I thought he was.
I think I’d be a good mom. I’d do everything mine didn’t. I’d never leave this baby. I’d figure my shit out. Stop partying. Stop using my body like a weapon. And I’d make you the godmother. I think my child could have a lot to learn from you. But it’s not that simple. It never is. There is someone else, Breeze. Someone threatening me. I’m scared to bring this baby into a world where danger lurks around every corner.
I’m not making any sense, am I? I have to be careful, Breeze.
I hope you never read this. I hope my secret gets lost. I hope I heal—eventually. I hope you never know how terrible of a friend I’ve been. I hope you never learn of the secrets I’ve been keeping.
But if you do learn, I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. My whole life, I’ve been looking to feel something. I’ve been looking for a home. I’ve been looking for love and warmth and happiness. And I’m so fucking stupid. Because I’ve had it all along. With you. With Chase. Even Kai.
I love you, Breeze Shirley. Thank you for being a good friend to me. I don’t deserve you. Not in the slightest. But I’m going to be better from now on.
Love,
Violet
I reread the unsent email again. And then again. Violet was scared. She knew something was going to happen. Emotion swelled in my chest; I was feeling so many things at once that I didn’t even know where to start. My heart ached for Violet, living her last days pregnant, alone, and scared.
For the millionth time since finding out she was pregnant, I wished that Violet had come to me. Now that I knew that my father was her killer and the father of her unborn child, I understood why she didn’t. But there was still a part of me that wished she had found a way to talk to me about it.
I felt an overwhelming sadness that Violet was just searching for her place in this world. For family, love, and a place that felt like home. I never had to wonder if my parents loved me growing up. I had a happy childhood, and I knew where I belonged.
I was angry with my father for ripping a broken and scared girl out of this world. A girl that he had known since she was three years old. A girl that easily could have been me. He took advantage of her, preyed on her, and then