After Us (Next Generation #6) - J.M. Walker Page 0,22
he was accusing me of, but this shit needed to end and fast.
He straightened to his full height and peered at me over his shoulder.
“What are you accusing me of?” I demanded, finally voicing my thoughts.
“I’m not accusing you of anything,” he mumbled, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans.
“No? Because it sure as hell feels like it.” I headed back into the kitchen to make Brynn a bottle. While I was waiting for it to heat up in the bottle warmer, I felt Jaron come up behind me.
“I’m not accusing you of anything.” He wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder. “I just don’t like that you talk to Gigi and not me.”
“Gigi called, asked me questions and I gave her an answer. What was I supposed to say?” When the bottle warmer dinged, I pulled the bottle from it and tested the temperature on my inner wrist. Satisfied that it wouldn’t burn Brynn, I handed it to Jaron. “She gets one of these for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I’ve started her on baby food as well, so once she’s done her bottle, she can get something from the cupboard.”
Jaron took the bottle from me and spun me around. “I like this. Being here with you. Being a family. But what I don’t like is that I have to learn all of this when we should have learned it together.”
My heart jumped to my throat at the coldness in his eyes. “It’s not my fault. And it’s definitely not yours.”
His jaw clenched. “I know it’s not your fault but...”
I frowned, staring up at him. “Jaron, do you think it’s your fault?”
He looked away.
“No.” I fisted his t-shirt and forced him to look at me. “You told me to talk, so you have to do the same.”
“I’m just having a hard time here, Piper. I should have been there. I should have been with you throughout your pregnancy. Through the birth. Through her diaper falling off the first time you tried putting it on her. I should have been there.”
Instead of waiting for me to respond, he pushed past me and left the kitchen to go feed our daughter.
My heart hammered in my ears. I had no idea that it bothered him as much as it did. I didn’t know at all. I had no warning. Not one bit. And now I was left with a broken man who hated himself for what he did and for leaving me. Even though he saved my life, I knew Jaron wished things would have turned out differently. I just wondered how much of that he blamed on me.
Jaron
I never meant to come off as an asshole but the fact that Piper had no issues talking to Gigi about our problems, instead of me, pissed me off. I knew she never really said anything, just that we were trying to get into a routine but that side of me came out before I could stop myself. Words spewed from my lips quicker than I would have liked and of course, Piper was on the receiving end of it.
While she rummaged around in the kitchen, I pulled up a chair beside Brynlee and gave her the bottle.
She clasped it with both hands and stuck the nipple into her mouth.
I sighed, leaning back in the chair and ran a hand through my hair. “Did you breastfeed her?”
Instead of answering me, Piper left the kitchen and went to a bookshelf sitting beside the TV. She pulled a box off the bottom shelf and brought it over to me.
“Everything is in here. The ultrasound pictures, doctor’s notes, more photos and so on. I even kept journals,” Piper told me, but she wouldn’t meet my gaze. “And yes, I did breastfeed her.”
I stood from the chair. “Piper.”
“Read the journals, Jaron. Everything you want to know is in them.” Her shoulders slumped, almost like she was admitting defeat.
“Hey.” I pulled her into my arms when she went to walk away. “Stop this.”
“Stop what?” She struggled against me, but I wouldn’t release her. I refused, knowing we needed to work through this. “I can’t do this with you. I don’t know what I expected when you got out, but it definitely wasn’t this.”
“Don’t push me away.” I cupped her face, forcing her to look up at me. “I can’t do this without you either. I know I’ve changed. I get that. But you don’t know what I went through. And I know I