After Us (Next Generation #6) - J.M. Walker Page 0,14

I was…” He cleared his throat, placing his beer on the table in front of us. “I can’t go back to the way things were. I don’t think I’ll ever get back there.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, taking in the light scars on his knuckles. What did he have to do to survive? He was big, but I knew that if he had been jumped by several guys all at once, even he couldn’t take them on.

“Piper.” Jaron pinched my chin, tilting my head back to meet his dark gaze. “I’m not the man I was before.”

I swallowed hard, taking in the slate orbs staring back at me. The air crackled around us. An electric energy zapped its way between us. I licked my lips, needing just a taste.

His eyes dropped to my mouth, his nostrils flaring. “I’m not him, Piper.” His thumb brushed along my jaw line. “I’m not a good guy. I want to be. For both of you. But I had to do shit to survive. Can you handle that?” he asked, his voice lowering. His hand slipped into my hair, to the back of my head. “Can you handle knowing the father of your baby would do anything to make it through each day? To make it back to his family. To his girls.”

I reached out, cupping his face.

He covered my hand, pushing his cheek into my palm. “You are the only reason I’m here. That I made it through that hell. The only reason.”

“What about your parents?” I murmured, my heart jumping to my throat at his confession.

“I love my parents and the club. I love them with every inch of me but what I feel for you goes beyond that.”

“Tell me,” I demanded, my voice turning husky.

He gave me a small smirk. “Not yet, baby.”

“Jaron, please. I need to know how you feel.” We had been going back and forth for months. I needed to hear the words. I needed to hear him say that he was in love with me.

“I can’t.”

I pulled out of his grip and shot up from the couch. “Fine.” Stomping to the kitchen, I downed the rest of my beer before throwing the empty bottle into the recycling bin.

“Babe.” Jaron came up behind me.

“No.” I spun around. “Don’t babe me. I haven’t seen you in over a year. I haven’t touched you. Kissed you. Made love to you. I need something. At least your words. Tell me. Please. Tell me how you feel.”

Jaron’s brows narrowed. “Then you tell me.”

“What?” I frowned, taken aback by what he was suggesting.

“Tell me how you feel.” He closed the distance between us. “You’re demanding it from me, but I don’t hear you saying it.”

“That’s because you told me you didn’t want us to say it until I was wrapped around you.”

Jaron chuckled. “Come on, baby. Since when do you ever listen to other people? Especially me? Your parents raised you better than that. Or did having my baby turn you into a pushover?”

My jaw clenched. I crossed my arms under my chest, jutting my chin defiantly. “Fuck you.”

“Hmm…” His gaze raked over me. “I will. But not tonight.”

“Whatever.” I spun on my heel and headed down the hall. “Your surprise is in the basement,” I called out. Once I reached my bedroom, I rushed inside and shut the door behind me. Blowing out a slow breath, I leaned against it and dropped to the floor.

***

(Jaron)

I wasn’t sure where any of that came from. I shouldn’t have been an asshole. It wasn’t Piper’s fault that I did what I had to, to survive. I went to hell for her. Literally.

It took everything in me not to go to her. To apologize. To tell her how sorry I was for being a dick. To tell her I loved her. But those words wouldn’t leave my mouth, no matter how much I wanted them to. I wasn’t sure why. I wasn’t scared of commitment. I had been committed to her long before Paris ever happened. It was one reason I had stopped sleeping around. But I was definitely scared of something. Maybe I feared how she would respond once she found out all that I had done. The men I had taken out. The fights I started. The name I had made for myself so I wouldn’t have to walk around in fear.

My phone took that moment to ring, interrupting my thoughts. “Mercer.”

A soft laugh slid into my ear. “I don’t think you’ve ever actually