After the Climb (River Rain #1) - Kristen Ashley Page 0,84
knew a thing or two about giving his love and trust to Corey Szabo.
On that thought, his eyes fell on the letter his closest, dearest friend from childhood had written at some point before he decided to eat a bullet.
Angrily, he snatched it up.
And read.
Dun and Genny,
I can’t say it enough. I’m sorry. It was me. And it was me because I loved you, Genny. God, you never figured it out. I thought I was so obvious. But you never figured it out. And you picked him.
So I told him. I told you, Dun. I told you Genny and I slept together. And I told you because I knew you’d believe me. And I loved Genny so much, I was willing to sacrifice you to have her.
So I lied and told you we’d had sex.
And I was married.
God, what a fuckup.
I did it to myself, giving up on Genny and marrying Samantha.
Of course, both of you would come to my wedding. Of course, both of you would remember how into each other you were. And of course, you would hook up and be inseparable again. I couldn’t even get either of you on the phone because, if you weren’t working or sleeping, you were fucking. And every day it kept going on, turning to weeks, months, an entire year.
It was torture. It made me crazy.
I had to make it stop.
I told Sam the same thing so she’d leave me, and she did. I had no idea she was pregnant.
But that was the end. She didn’t forgive me, and Dun, you didn’t forgive Genny, and I got part of my way, you two were over. But then Gen, you moved to LA, and Duncan, you went to Utah, and all I managed to do was make certain no one had what they wanted.
I knew, way back then, I should say something. I knew way back then, I should come clean. I should tell you, Dun. Or you, Genny. Make it right, at least between the two of you.
But I didn’t have the guts. I told myself I was working up to it, but then I always allowed something to get in the way.
Always, I allowed something to get in the way.
I had a million excuses as to why I was too busy to explain to the two people I loved the most in the world why I did the most unforgiveable thing in the world to them.
By now, if you’re reading this, and I don’t do something weak, make the wrong decision yet again, and change my mind about what I’ve decided to do, you’ll know how much this has haunted me.
Gen, when you and Tom split, I knew. And yes, that’s just what a puny fuck I am, that it’s taken me this long to get there, knowing both of you are free, and I should finally do something about it.
Please, do not mistake that. I own this. I’ve finally come to terms with the life I bought being the man I became and doing the things I did.
And it’s a life I can live no longer.
It is not about either of you. Or Sam, and all I put her through. Or Hale, and how, as what could only be some form of perfect punishment, I watched him grow up to be you, Duncan, and I could barely stand the sight of him because he was a constant reminder of what I did to my best friend.
It’s about me.
I did this to me by doing the things I did to the people I should have protected and loved.
You know, I honestly considered filling a warehouse with paper covered in the words contained in this box, but I didn’t, because I know how much that would piss you off, Dun.
Suffice it to say, there isn’t enough paper in the world to contain the depth of my regret for what I took from the two of you and the selfish reason I did it.
But I hope, considering you both are who you are, that you give me something I don’t deserve.
One of only two last wishes, and Gen, the other one is for Hale.
That being that you’re standing in a room together, remembering who you are to each other.
And you’ll find again what I took away and be what I also took away.
Happy.
I know I didn’t show it, but I really did love you guys.
Corey
Having finished the letter, Duncan stared at it, Corey’s precise, miniscule handwriting covering it from top to bottom.