The hot water feels amazing and loosens up my tense muscles. I should be relieved and happy that Hardin and I have reached some sort of truce, but now anger and annoyance have been replaced by nervousness and confusion. I’ve agreed to spend time with Hardin tomorrow, doing something “fun,” and I am terrified. I just hope it goes well; I don’t expect to become best friends with him, but I need us to get to a place where we don’t scream at each other every time we talk.
The shower feels so good I stay in there for a while, and when I get back to my room, Steph’s already come and left. I find a note from her saying Tristan is taking her off campus for dinner. I like Tristan; he seems really nice despite his overuse of eyeliner. If Steph and Tristan continue to see each other then maybe when Noah comes to visit we could all go do something together. Who am I kidding? Noah wouldn’t want to hang out with people like them, but I’m aware enough to admit that up until three weeks ago I never would have, either.
I end up calling Noah before bed; we haven’t talked all day. He’s so polite, he asks about my day as soon as he picks up. I tell him it was good; I should tell him that Hardin and I are going to hang out tomorrow, but I don’t. He tells me that his soccer team beat Seattle High by a landslide, even though Seattle’s really good. And I’m happy for him, because he seems really happy to have played so well.
THE NEXT DAY GOES BY way too fast. Landon and I walk into Literature class, and Hardin is already in his seat. “Are you ready for our date tonight?” he asks and my mouth falls open. Landon’s does, too. I don’t know what I feel more conflicted about: Hardin saying it like that, or how it will affect how Landon sees me. Day one of our quest to become friends is not going well so far.
“It’s not a date,” I say to him, then turn to Landon and roll my eyes and nonchalantly say, “We’re hanging out as friends,” while ignoring Hardin.
“Same thing,” Hardin replies.
I avoid him for the rest of the class . . . which is easy since he doesn’t really try to talk to me after that.
After class, as Landon starts putting his stuff into his backpack, he looks at Hardin, then quietly says to me, “Be careful tonight.”
“Oh, we’re just trying to get along since my roommate is his good friend,” I reply, hoping Hardin doesn’t hear me.
“I know, you’re really a great friend. I’m just not sure Hardin deserves your kindness,” he says, purposefully loud, and I look up at him.
“Don’t you have something else to do besides bad-mouth me? Get lost, man,” Hardin snaps from behind me.
Landon frowns and looks at me again. “Just remember what I said.” He walks away, and I worry about how much I’ve maybe upset him.
“Hey, you don’t have to be cruel to him—you guys are practically brothers,” I say.
Hardin’s eyes go wide. “What did you just say?” he growls.
“You know, your dad and his mom?” Was Landon lying? Or was I not supposed to mention this. Landon said not to bring up Hardin’s relationship with his dad, but I didn’t think he meant the whole thing.
“That is none of your business.” Hardin looks angrily at the door where Landon disappeared. “I don’t know why the asshole even told you that. I’m going to have to shut him up, it seems.”
“You leave him alone, Hardin. He didn’t even want to tell me, but I got it out of him.” The idea of Hardin hurting Landon makes me sick. I need to change the subject. “So where are we going today?” I ask, and he glares at me.
“We aren’t going anywhere; this was a bad idea,” he snaps, turns on his heels, and walks away. I stand there for a minute, waiting to see if Hardin changes his mind and will come back.
What the hell? He really is bipolar, I’m sure of it.
BACK IN MY DORM ROOM, I find Zed, Tristan, and Steph sitting on her bed. Tristan’s eyes are focused on Steph and Zed is flicking his thumb across the trigger of a metal lighter. I would usually be annoyed with this many unexpected guests, but I really like Zed and