I don’t want to be.” I turn on my heel and walk away to punctuate my little speech.
“Tessa! Damn it . . .” he says and follows me through the store. I reach the dressing rooms and glance at them.
“I will follow you,” he says, reading my thoughts.
He will, too. So I turn and head toward the exit of the store. “Take me home. Now,” I demand. I stay quiet and at least ten feet ahead of Hardin as we walk out of the mall and to his car. He moves to open the door for me but backs away when I glare at him. If I were him, I would keep my distance.
I stare out the window and think of all the terrible things I could say to him but I stay silent. I’m mostly just embarrassed that he feels like he can’t tell people we are together. I know I’m not like his friends and they probably all think I am a loser or not cool enough, but that shouldn’t matter to him. I find myself wondering if Zed would hide our relationship from his friends, and I can’t help but think that he wouldn’t. Come to think of it, Hardin has never actually called me his girlfriend. I probably should have waited to sleep with him until he at least confirmed we were dating.
“Are you done throwing a fit?” he asks as we pull onto the highway.
“A fit? You aren’t serious!” My voice fills his small car.
“I don’t know why it’s such a big deal to you that I called you my friend; that’s not what I meant. I was just caught off guard,” he lies. I can tell he is lying by the way his eyes dart away from mine.
“If you are embarrassed of me, then I don’t want to see you anymore,” I say. I dig my nails into my leg to keep from crying.
“Don’t say that to me.” He runs his hand over his hair and takes a deep breath. “Tessa, why do you assume I am embarrassed of you? That is just fucking ridiculous,” he growls.
“Have fun at your party tonight.”
“Please, I’m not going, I just said that so Jace would lay off.”
What I say next I know is a terrible idea, but I want to prove a point: “If you aren’t embarrassed of me, then take me to the party.”
“Absolutely fucking not,” he says through his teeth.
“Exactly,” I snap.
“I am not taking you there because Jace is a dick, for one. Two, it’s not the kind of place you should be.”
“Why not? I can handle myself.”
“Jace and his friends are way out of your league, Tessa. Hell, they’re even out of my league. They are all stoners and scum.”
“Then why are you friends with him?” I roll my eyes.
“There is a big difference between being friendly and being friends.”
“Well, why would Zed hang out with him, then?”
“I don’t know. Jace isn’t one of those guys that you say no to,” he explains.
“So you’re afraid of him. That’s why you didn’t say anything when he came on to me,” I point out. Jace must be really bad if Hardin is afraid of him.
Hardin surprises me by laughing. “I’m not afraid of him. I just don’t want to provoke him. He likes games, and if I provoked him with you he would turn you into a game.” His knuckles turn white from his grip on the steering wheel.
“Well, good thing we’re just friends, then,” I say and look out the window at the beautiful view of the city passing by. I’m not perfect; I know I’m acting childish but I can’t help it. Knowing how big a creep Jace is, I get why Hardin did what he did, but that doesn’t make it hurt less.
chapter eighty-two
When we get to the room, I plop down on the bed. I am still angry with Hardin but not as angry as I was. I don’t want any more attention from Jace than necessary, but meeting him has only raised more questions that I know Hardin doesn’t want me to ask.
“I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” he says. I don’t look at him because I know I will turn to mush. He needs to know that I won’t put up with him doing things like this. “Do . . . you . . . do you still want me?” he asks, his voice shaky.