“Well, I’m used to you pushing me away from you, so we both just have some adjusting to do.” I smile and lay my head on his chest. I feel oddly comforted by his worry. I had been terrified that he would change his mind this morning and it feels good to know he was just as afraid.
“Yeah, I guess we do. I love you,” he says, and it hits me just as hard as it did the first time, and the twentieth, last night.
“And I love you, too,” I tell him and he frowns.
“Don’t say too,” he says.
“What? Why?” My doubt is on call, waiting for him to deny me, yet hoping that he won’t.
“I don’t know . . . it just makes me feel like you are just agreeing with me.” He looks down. I remember the promise I made to myself last night that I would do whatever I can to help him conquer his self doubt.
“I love you,” I say and he looks up at me. His eyes soften and he gently presses his lips against mine.
“Thank you,” he says when he pulls away.
I roll my eyes at how flawless he looks in a plain white T-shirt and black jeans. He never wears anything except plain white or black T-shirts and black jeans every single day, but he looks perfect, every single day. He doesn’t need to follow whatever trend is hot; his simple style suits him so well. I put on my clothes from last night and he grabs my purse for me before we head downstairs.
We find Karen and Ken in the living room. “I made some breakfast,” Karen says cheerfully.
I feel slightly uncomfortable with Karen and Ken knowing I stayed with Hardin, again. I know they seem to be perfectly fine with it, and we are adults, but that doesn’t stop my cheeks from blushing.
“Thank you.” I smile and she gives me a curious look; I know I will get some questions when we are in the greenhouse. I walk into the kitchen and Hardin follows. We both fill our plates with food and sit at the table.
“Are Landon and Dakota here?” I ask Karen when she comes in. Dakota will probably be confused seeing me with Hardin again after being with Zed last night, but I shake off the negative thoughts.
“No, they went to Seattle for the day to do some sightseeing. Were you still wanting to work on the greenhouse today?”
“Yes, of course. I just have to run to my room and change my clothes,” I tell her.
“Excellent! I’ll have Ken bring the bags of soil out from the shed while you’re gone.”
“If you wait until we get back, Hardin can help him?” I half-ask, half-offer, looking to Hardin.
“Oh, you will be around today as well?” she asks, her smile growing. How can he not see that people care about him?
“Uh . . . yeah. I was going to just hang out here today . . . I guess. If that’s cool with y-you?” he stutters.
“Of course! Ken! Did you hear that, Hardin is going to be here all day!” Her excitement makes me smile and Hardin roll his eyes.
“Be nice,” I whisper in his ear as he plasters the fakest smile I have ever seen across his face. Then I giggle and kick his foot with mine.
chapter seventy
I remove my clothes and take a quick shower, even though I’m going to get dirty gardening with Karen. Hardin waits patiently, fiddling through my underwear drawer to keep himself busy. When I’m done, he tells me to pack enough clothes to spend another night with him, which makes me smile. I would spend every night with him if I could.
As we drive back, I ask him, “Do you want to get your car and take it to your dad’s?”
“No, I’m okay. As long as you stop swerving all over the road.”
“Excuse me? I am an excellent driver,” I say defensively.
He snorts but keeps his mouth shut. “So what made you decide to get a car, anyway?”
“Well, I got the internship, and I didn’t want to keep taking the bus or depending on other people to take me places.”
He looks out the window. “Oh . . . did you go alone?”
“Yeah . . . why?”
“Just wondering,” he lies.
“I was alone; that was a bad day for me,” I say and he flinches.
“How many times did you and Zed hang out?” he asks.
Why is he bringing this up now? “Twice: we went to