that I wasn’t your type,” I remind him. My mind still can’t wrap itself around the fact that I am having this conversation with Hardin, in front of Noah, at that.
“You aren’t my type, just the way that I am not yours. But that’s why we are good for each other—we are so different, yet we’re the same. You told me once that I bring out the worst in you. Well, you bring out the best in me. I know you feel it, too, Tessa. And yes, I didn’t date, until you. You make me want to date, you make me want to be better. I want you to think I am worthy of you; I want you to want me the way I do you. I want to fight with you, even scream at each other until one of us admits we are wrong. I want to make you laugh, and listen to you ramble about classic novels. I just . . . I need you. I know I am cruel at times . . . well, all the time, but that’s only because I don’t know how else to be.” His voice becomes a half whisper, his eyes wild. “This has been me for so long, I have never wanted to be any other way. Until now, until you.”
I am dumbfounded. He’s said everything I wanted him to say but never imagined that he actually would. This is not the Hardin I know, but the way his words came out in a rushed string, and the heavy breathing that accompanied them, somehow make it all the more true and natural.
I am not sure how I am still standing after his declaration.
“What the hell? Tessa?” Noah says frantically.
“You should go,” I whisper, not breaking eye contact with Hardin.
Noah steps forward and crows with victory. “Thank you! I thought that was never going to end.”
Hardin looks heartbroken, absolutely crushed.
“Noah, I said you should go,” I repeat.
Both men suck in a sharp breath. Relief washes over Hardin and I reach for his hands, threading my small fingers through his trembling ones.
“What?” Noah shouts. “You can’t be serious, Tessa! We have known each other so long—this guy is just using you. He will toss you aside as soon as he is done with you, and I love you! Don’t make this mistake, Tessa,” he begs.
I feel for him, and it hurts me to do this to him, but I know I can’t be with Noah. I want Hardin. More than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life.
And Hardin wants me. More with me.
My heart flutters again and I look at Noah, who opens his mouth to say something.
“I would stop talking. Now,” Hardin warns him.
“I am so sorry that it happened this way, I really am,” I say.
He doesn’t say anything else. He looks broken as he picks up the backpack he brought and leaves my room.
“Tessa . . . I . . . You really do feel the same way?” Hardin gasps and I nod.
How could he not know this by now?
“No nodding, please say it.” Desperation fuels his words.
“Yeah, Hardin I do,” I say. I don’t have a beautiful or meaningful speech like he did, but those simple words seem to be enough for him.
The smile I receive heals some of the pain I feel from breaking Noah’s heart.
“So what do we do now?” he asks. “I’m new at this.” He flushes.
“Kiss me,” I say and he pulls me to his chest, his hand fisting the loose fabric of his shirt on my back. His lips are cool and his tongue is warm as it slips into my mouth. Despite the chaos that just occurred in my small room, I feel calm. This feels like a dream. I somehow know it is the calm before the storm, but right now Hardin is my anchor. I just pray that he doesn’t pull me under.
chapter fifty-two
When Hardin finally breaks our kiss, he sits on my bed and I join him.
We’re quiet for a few minutes, so I begin to feel nervous, like there is some way I should be behaving now that we are . . . more, but I have no clue what way that is.
“What do you have planned for the rest of the day?” he asks.
“Nothing, just studying,” I say.
“Cool.” He clicks his tongue onto the roof of his mouth. He seems nervous, too, and I am glad it isn’t just me.