times and left me for dead, all while I pleaded with her not to do it because I loved her. But maybe you're right. Maybe I'm just lucky."
My throat goes dry.
There's no judgment in his tone, but…I feel like an asshole. I stop, turning to look at him. "Adiron, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I didn't realize."
Adiron's smile is effortlessly bright and easy. He takes my hand in his and lifts it to his mouth, kissing my knuckles again. "You didn't know. I don't share, most times. And bad shit happens to everyone. I just prefer to live my life with pleasure instead of dealing with the pain. I can let the bad things swamp me or I can learn from my mistakes."
I smile. It's a beautiful way of looking at things. I'm envious of how easy he makes it sound. Just ignore the ugly bits and the dark spots. Focus on the light and the happy. My fingers tingle where he brushes his lips over my skin, and I'm disappointed when he lowers my hand. I'd almost prefer that he start making out with my hand than return it to me, which is a little ridiculous. "So, have you? Learned from your mistakes?"
"Uh…it's a process." He grins, tucking my hand into his arm again.
I can't help it—I laugh. That's such an Adiron response. I love it. "You'll get there."
The door to the bridge is at the end of the hall, and Adiron steers me toward it. They open automatically as we approach, revealing the large, lonely bridge and the view of deep space. "The good things outweigh the bad in my life," Adiron says finally. "So those are the ones I focus on."
"Like Zoey and your brothers."
"And you." He gazes down at me.
Instantly, I'm breathless. "You just met me."
"Yeah, but some things you just know about." He smiles and leans in, and I wonder for a moment if he's going to kiss me. "Does this count as walking you home, by the way? Because I've seen the human vids. I know what happens at the end of a date."
Seems like we're on the same wavelength. I tilt my head, regarding him. "You've just got a one-track mind, don't you?"
"Two tracks, actually. But they're both going in the same direction." He shrugs. "And we've got this big, empty, cold ship. Who better to warm you up than me?"
I pretend to consider his offer. In reality, there's not much to consider. What's a little bit of harmless sex? I like him, I need a distraction, and he's just the man for the job. "Can we check for messages first?"
His eyes flash with a look that's pure excitement. "Kef yeah we can."
38
ADIRON
There are no messages.
I hate the clear disappointment on Jade's face, and hate even more that she tries to hide it. "I knew there wouldn't be any," she says with a brave smile. "I just was kind of hoping." She turns to regard the ship's empty bridge with a sigh. "And we can't send anything out, right?"
"Not unless you want to take the risk of someone tracing down the signal and heading in this direction."
"Of course not."
She keeps smiling, but it doesn't reach her eyes, and I feel like I failed her. I don't want our date to end on a down note, so I grab her hand and haul her after me. "Come on. I have an idea."
Jade's expression brightens, and she lets me drag her down the halls of the ship, her bare feet making the cutest little smacks against the metal flooring. I lead her into the main lavatory on the ship, the one just down the hall from the bridge. A ship this big has small, private lavatories in the personal quarters, but there's also two larger ones to accommodate crew needs. This one will suit me just fine. I pull Jade inside after me and immediately head toward the shower heads, turning them all on.
"What are you doing?" she asks. "We can't waste water."
"We're not wasting it," I tell her. It'll just go right back into the system and be recycled. But we need the steam."
She tugs her hand from mine and gives me a suspicious look. "What is it we're doing in here?"
I take her by the shoulders and turn her so that she faces the large mirror over the row of sinks. Kef me, but she looks good in front of me. Her full, bouncy hair puffs up and brushes against my