my secret pressing on me. She knows I'm pregnant. And if she's figured it out, it won't take long before the entire ship knows. Not that I really care about what anyone thinks other than Adiron…but I need to be the one to tell him. "I haven't said anything yet," I admit. "There hasn't been much time. I just found out when we got captured. I didn't even think it was possible."
"The mesakkah are interesting," Fran says, her voice mild. "Some of the things they do seem strange and antiquated to me, but their technology is leagues ahead of anything Earth has, and their medical expertise is incredible. Babies between two different species are easily handled, as long as you've got the money to pay for the doctor."
"Doctor?"
"Right." She grimaces. "Your path was different than mine, I'm guessing, if the pregnancy was a surprise to you. Kivian and I saved up for fertility shots. You pay a doctor that's familiar with treating humans, he stuffs you full of hormones and medical treatments, and it makes you pregnant. I'm guessing they did something similar to you while you were sleeping?"
"They must have." I shake my head. "I don't remember any of it."
"Well…I'm not going to tell you what to do with your own body." Fran picks up a metal ring with a few clanky bits on it and shakes it in front of Jasmine's face. The baby's arms and legs flail and she bounces on her stomach, trying to get to the “keys.” "But if you need to intervene, we have a med-bay on the ship that can take care of it."
It's that simple, I guess. Just push a button and all your problems are solved. Adiron never needs to know.
I swallow hard, because everything about that feels wrong to me, and yet…it's a simple solution, isn't it? "I just don't know if it's safe to bring up a baby. I don't have a home. I don't have a dollar to my name. I'm completely dependent on Adiron and you guys. That frightens me."
"I understand." Fran's voice is full of sympathy. She shakes the keys again, and Jasmine makes a gurgle of excitement, her little legs dancing.
I don't know if she does understand. She seems so calm. So at ease. "Do you live somewhere else? Are you just visiting?"
Fran smiles. "No, I live here all the time. I think Kivian would die if he had to leave me and Jas behind. I might, too. We're not good at being apart."
I'm a little afraid of offending her, but fuck it. "Do you think it's wise to have a baby on a pirate ship? That it's safe? Because it doesn't seem safe to me."
"You'd think that, wouldn't you?" Fran seems unruffled by my words. She leans over and picks up Jasmine. The baby has drool all down her chin, but the look she gives her mother is adoring, and Fran is rewarded with a bright, happy smile full of gums and slobber. "But being here on a ship with people that love and care about me is safer than anywhere else in this universe. It's not a nice place for humans." She gives me a wry smile as she bounces her daughter on her knee.
Not a nice place for humans is kinda an understatement. "I know it's not safe. I just…"
"Have a hard time reconciling this lifestyle to one back on Earth?" She gives me a knowing look. "You'll get there. And really, who's to say we were any safer back on Earth? Someone could drive their car through your living room or your plane could crash and you'd be just as dead. I'm happy with Kivian. Jasmine's happy. We have a crew full of people that help out when we need a break." She lifts the baby and kisses one fat, pale blue cheek and then holds her out to me. "Time to stop thinking about what you've been told is the right answer, and adapt to life out here." Fran shrugs. "If you don't want children, it's a different conversation entirely but…that's not what you were asking, is it?"
It's not. Because as worried as I am, I do want children. Maybe my biological clock is ticking, but the thought of having Adiron's baby fills me with such joy and such utter terror. I've always wanted a family…I just never thought I'd have it with an alien. In space.
But like Fran said, maybe it's time to stop thinking like I'm back on