her this last week. He didn’t say another word the whole way, which was fine because it gave her more time to think about what she was going to say. Not enough time, as it turned out, but they couldn’t just sit there staring out at the water forever, and there was no way in hell he could be any more mortified than she was, so…
“I’m sorry. I guess I got caught up in the whole thing and forgot this is nothing but a show.”
He didn’t even look at her, just kept his gaze focused straight out the front window. “You don’t understand, Ellie. If I screw this up…”
There wasn’t even a hint of humor in the laugh she released.
“Oh, Poncherello, that’s where you’re wrong. I understand just fine.” She straightened her shoulders, lifted her chin a little, and kicked herself mentally for not applying a second layer of lipstick before heading out of the house. “We both knew from the start that this was a job, that you were here to help keep me safe, and all we had to do was keep up the pretense until Kurt made a mistake. Well, he doesn’t seem to making any, and I’m sure you never thought this would go on as long as it has, so maybe it’s time to reassess things.”
She’d expected him to be happy, to jump at the chance to end this charade they’d been playing at for the last three weeks, but the muscles in his jaw just clenched tighter.
“Why didn’t you tell me about the emails?”
“The emails? Because you’re not the lead investigator; Tory is. All contact, all information, all everything is supposed to go through her or the watch command—”
“This isn’t a goddamn game, Ellie!”
His sudden burst made her jump; then it just pissed her off.
“That’s exactly what it is! It’s Kurt’s game, and we’re all playing along. The only difference is, he doesn’t give a shit about the rule book, and we do—we have to! I’m the one who screwed up, I’m the one who ignored the rules, and I’m sorry, okay? All I’m trying to do now is make it right and follow the playbook you laid out for me when this started.”
“Oh, I get it.” He snorted quietly and shook his head. “So I’m the asshole again?”
“What? No!” This wasn’t going the way she’d hoped. Not even close. “None of this is on you; I’m just trying to make it right again. Tory has her job, you have your job, and I have mine. So far as I can tell, the two of you have managed your parts perfectly, but I didn’t. This is what happens when you live a lie for too long: you start to believe it’s real.”
She wasn’t going to sit there waiting for him to say something, because that would only make it worse, so she fired up the truck again and headed back toward town.
“North or south on the highway?” she asked, doing a damn fine job of keeping her voice even, despite the fact that her throat burned and her jaw kept wanting to quiver. Oh no, she wasn’t having any of that shit. At least not while she was anywhere near him.
None of this had been his doing, and she wasn’t about to have him feeling guilty about any of it.
“Ell.”
“Please don’t call me that. Call me Ellie, Elleanor if you must, or Miss Palmer like Tory does, but not Ell.”
“Seriously?”
“Damn right.” Ell was way too personal. No one else had ever called her that, only him. “Now, which way are we going?”
With his elbow resting on the armrest, he lifted his hand in surrender. “I don’t care. South.”
Of course, she mused. Everything else seemed to be heading that way.
For the next hour she did everything she was instructed to do, signaled, made her way through two four-way stops, a roundabout, and an obstacle course of bright orange cones. She even parallel parked on Main Street without using his backup camera.
And not once in the entire time they were out did he have to mention her speed. She kept a very close eye on that speedometer, and even though it almost drove her crazy on the straight stretches down the highway, she maintained the speed limits everywhere she went.
When they got back to her house, she hopped out and rounded the front of the truck as he came around from the passenger side.
She didn’t touch him, didn’t so much as kiss him on the cheek