Accidentally Aphrodite - Dakota Cassidy Page 0,12
cougar too? Am I getting that right?” Because who’d want to screw up that story?
Ingrid bit her lip and winced. “Meow?”
Quinn’s eyes narrowed up at her. “Still too soon.”
Ingrid sucked in some air. “Sorry. I’m just learning how to prepare someone emotionally for finding out they’re paranormal. It’s a process. Nina was teaching me, but Marty and Wanda said she’s not allowed to help anymore because she’s an insensitive cur—Wanda’s words, not mine.”
“Well, it was Nina who said it would be the eff-word stupid to cancel this trip—one I couldn’t get a refund for, by the way. Not even when I threatened to slit my wrists with a butter knife right in front of that unshakeable travel agent. Nina said to not go to effin’ Greece because I was acting like some kind of panty waste over a dick of a man who wasn’t any better than the shit on my shoe, was effed up. Imagine my surprise that ‘cur’ is used when describing her in a sentence.”
Ingrid’s shoulders sagged. “Okay, forget Nina for a sec. Do you understand what I’m saying to you, Quinn? Really understand? My boss was a regular old human until she was accidentally scratched by the man who’s now her husband and she’s a cougar—forever. She shapeshifts from human form to cougar form. Nina, Marty, and Wanda were the ones who helped her get through the changes.”
Quinn’s mind whirred like a dervish when she gave Ingrid a dazed look. “Right, and Katie was just over forty when she was turned—so MILF jokes abound.”
“You forgot to tack on the ‘ha-ha very funny’.”
“Slacker be mine name.”
Ingrid peered down at her, pushing Quinn’s tangled hair from her forehead. “Now repeat after me. Nina is a vampire, Marty is a werewolf, and Wanda is what we teasingly call a halfsie. Half werewolf, half vampire—all of them accidentally turned into supernatural beings by some nutbag event. And I work for them as their receptionist at a place called OOPS. Out In The Open Paranormal Support. They assist paranormal people in crisis, and that’s why I know something paranormal has happened to you, and why I tweeted Nina. Because she’s an expert on this and she’s the only one of the three who can fly. Wanda’s tried, but her attempts have had some pretty rough results.”
“Right. The crash landing into the hedge maze at Nina’s castle.”
Ingrid grinned her approval. “Now you’re getting it!”
Quinn vehemently shook her head. “Oh, no, no, no. Don’t mistake this for getting anything. I’m just repeating what you told me. I still haven’t wrapped my head around cougar veterinarian. So forget hedge mazes and castles and zombies. Oh my God. Nina has a vegetarian zombie…”
Ingrid bobbed her colorful head. “Named Carl. He’s a great dude. Needy when it comes to a roll of duct-tape, but you’ll love him.”
Slowly, as the wheels in her head began to grind back into gear, some things were beginning to make sense—a connection of dots, if you will. Like how pale Nina was. “And Nina was already a vampire when I met her?”
“She’s been one for seven years now.”
“Is that what made her so crusty?”
Ingrid wrinkled her nose. “No. I hear she was always a little cranky, and FYI, I was petrified of her at first, too. I know she comes off as scary with all her swearing and threatening, but she’s a total mush.”
Quinn massaged the back of her neck. Right. Mushy-mushy. Hah.
She rose, handing Ingrid her backpack. “I’m sure she’s very warm and supportive.”
Ingrid nodded, pursing her lips. “I’m hearing sarcasm.”
“You’re not hearing things.”
Ingrid made a face, tucking her thumbs into her backpack straps. “Look, she’s good to me, Quinn. Nina, Marty, and Wanda pay me ridiculously well, way over the going rate for a receptionist to answer the phones at OOPS. If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t have enough money to buy a pencil, let alone pay for my tuition. Plus, it was Nina who suggested you not go by yourself to Greece. She said you looked like you needed a vacation—but you shouldn’t go it alone.”
Now Quinn wrinkled her nose. “Now, now. That wasn’t exactly what Nina said.”
Ingrid threw up her arms in frustration, her sigh grating. “Fine. She said the last thing you should be doing is hitting Greece alone because the idiot, romantic, rose-colored-glasses wearer that you are, you’d probably end up shackled to some olive farmer as your rebound. Okay? Happy? Despite her forward nature—insensitive, cranky, sometimes crass…okay, always crass—even she could tell you