load one. And I’m sure Dustin did too. It’s just if they played the helpless male, you’d take pity on them and do it for them.”
She shook her head. “I’ve always suspected that. What brats.”
“Don’t tell Caden I broke the ‘bro code’ and revealed one of our secrets.”
Sarah laughed. Then sobered. “I won’t say a word, but he might suspect when I tell him it’s his turn to load the dishwasher.”
“Who’s been loading it since you’ve been here?” Mirth danced in his eyes.
“Well, duh. The dishwasher fairies, of course. The same ones who load yours, I suspect.”
His laughter rang through the kitchen and the sound pierced her heart. He was a good man. An honest one. He had a serious side but didn’t take himself too seriously. He could be deadly in a situation that required it—and yet gentle as a warm breeze on a sunny day. He was a mass of contradictions and he fascinated her. And scared her. He could break her heart without even trying at this point. She’d laid it out there for him and felt like she’d been left in limbo.
He called Asher and Travis and filled them in on their upcoming trip to the hospital, then watched the area while she climbed into the passenger seat. Once they were on the way, she let out a low sigh.
“I’m a very selfish person, aren’t I?” The words slipped from her lips before she could stop them.
He blinked, glanced at her, then back at the road. “What makes you say that?”
“You were right about the apartment, for one thing. I was only thinking of myself when I moved in. I had no thought or worry that Caden would lose sleep over it. I didn’t care about my father’s opinion. Still don’t, really, but I should have considered Caden’s.”
Gavin shook his head. “Hindsight is twenty-twenty, Sarah. When we’re hurting, sometimes we do things and it’s almost impossible to see past that hurt.”
Like sleep with anyone who asked? Was that a reference to her past? Even if it wasn’t, it still fit. “You say some very wise things sometimes, you know that?”
A chuckle rumbled from him. “Well, thank you. I try.” He paused. “What did your father do to make you so angry? I know he wasn’t here a lot, but surely there’s more to it than just that.”
“He let my mother die without him.” Sarah said the words aloud for the first time. “He didn’t come home in time to be with her before she died.”
“Oh. Maybe he couldn’t.”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. He said he simply couldn’t leave when we needed him to and refused to explain further.” She settled her elbow on the armrest and looked out the window. “Mom was in the hospital after passing out and she was quickly moved to hospice. I called my dad and left message after message on the emergency number we had for him.” She shook her head. “Days passed. By the time he called me back, she’d taken a turn for the worse and slipped into a coma.” A shuddering sigh escaped her. He threaded his fingers through hers, enfolding her in his warmth. For a moment, she simply let herself embrace the comfort his touch offered. “When he called, I told him the news and he said he would be on the next flight home. She died the next day and I found out he hadn’t even left Afghanistan.”
“You were with her. She wasn’t alone.”
“But she wanted him. She had things she wanted to say to him and he never gave her that chance. He stole that from her, and I, for some reason, can’t get past it. I’ve gotten past a lot of stuff, but not that.”
“Don’t hate me for asking, but have you tried?”
Sarah flinched, bit her tongue on the first thought that whipped across her mind, and forced herself to really consider the question. Sometimes she hated her inability to be anything but honest. “No,” she said, “I haven’t. I’ve been too busy being angry with him.”
Gavin shot her a smile and a sympathetic look. “At least you admit it.”
She frowned. “Now quit asking me deep questions like that until I’m ready to deal with them.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He glanced in the rearview mirror.
“Travis and Asher are there.”
Gavin shook his head. “Not much gets past you, does it?”
She huffed a laugh. “More than I would like, I suspect. Don’t they need to sleep?”
“They’re staying together and sleeping in shifts. Just in case.”