she changed her major to communications. Or something. I think.” He shook his head. “I need to ask her.”
They found the mental health unit, and Sarah, walking even more slowly and holding her side, approached the speaker on the wall outside the locked double doors. She pushed the button.
“May I help you?” The voice from the little box echoed in the white concrete hallway.
“I’m Sarah Denning, here to see Dr. McCandless if she has a few minutes.”
“Do you have an appointment?”
“I don’t, but she treated my brother and I was hoping to talk to her for just five minutes, please.”
“I’m sorry. You’ll have to make an appointment.”
Impatience flashed across Sarah’s features followed quickly by frustration. She took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. “Look, I know this is a little out of the norm, but I really need to speak to her.”
“Then I suggest you schedule an appointment. Now, if that’s all, I hope you have a good day.”
“No, that’s not all—” She stopped and bit her lip as she stepped back from the speaker. “That went well,” she muttered.
About like he thought it would. “I don’t want to sound like I’m being a know-it-all, but—” No, he shouldn’t say anything.
“But what?”
“Never mind.”
“No, say what you were going to say.”
“I was just going to say I think you’re pushing too hard,” he said softly. “I know you’re a big girl and don’t need me reminding you that you’re still recovering.”
“But?”
Was she mad? “But I recommend going home, making an appointment with Dr. McCandless, and then resting until it’s time to come back.”
She scowled. “You’re right. I am a big girl.”
“Uh-huh.”
“You also make sense.”
“I do? I mean, yeah, I do.”
She nodded. “I’m ready to go.”
“I can go ahead and just carry you and save us both the trouble of catching you when you pass out again if you like.”
The look she shot him should have dropped him six feet under.
The strain of the visit had obviously rattled her brain, because the idea of Gavin carrying her was not terrible at all. And it should be because she didn’t want to be attracted to him. However, she wasn’t in denial to the point that she refused to face reality. The truth was, she was very attracted to Gavin and had been since she’d first laid eyes on him. But . . .
There was always a but. She wouldn’t let herself fall for him now for exactly the same reason she hadn’t let herself while they were in Kabul. Yes, in that one instance, he’d reminded her of her father, but that hadn’t been the complete reason she’d shoved him away and run. She also knew he deserved better than her. Someone who didn’t have her insecurities and emotional baggage. Someone who didn’t have a past she couldn’t change—no matter how much she might wish she could. She wouldn’t put that on him, so she needed to simply keep her distance.
Her priority was her brother and figuring out what had gone wrong with him. If the medical staff were negligent, she needed to know that. If they weren’t, and Dustin had somehow slipped over the edge for whatever reason contrary to Caden’s observations, then she had to know that too.
And she needed to know about Brianne. For her own peace of mind. So, a romance with Gavin wasn’t the most important item on her to-do list at the moment. And probably never would be. But . . . she couldn’t quite squelch the wish.
Gavin drove in silence, lost in his own thoughts while she fought to stay awake. Honestly, this lack of energy was going to drive her insane. Being out of commission was so rare for her that she simply didn’t know how to handle it. Getting more rest would probably help, but she was tired of resting. Sarah pulled her phone out of her pocket and called Dr. McCandless’s office. After learning she wouldn’t be able to get an appointment for three months, she hung up and shook her head. “I’m on the waiting list.”
Gavin snorted.
“That’s a crime,” she said. “What if I was truly suicidal?”
“You’d have to get in another way. Like via a referral from a doctor saying it’s an emergency.”
Sarah huffed. “All right, then that’s what I’ll do.”
“Do what?”
She dialed Dr. Kilgore’s number and requested the referral from the woman who answered. “They said I couldn’t get in for three months,” she said. “And I know in the scheme of things, that’s fairly quick, but I