was released and took him home.” Caden walked over to sit in the chair next to the bed. “He was upbeat and happy. Said he felt like the sessions at the hospital had really helped and the drug protocol was working. He’d also been sober for three months and was working out, getting in shape.” Caden shrugged. “He said everything was looking brighter and he had hope that the future held good things. Less than forty-eight hours later, he’s dead? I don’t get it.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? Tell the general?”
“Dustin told me to keep my mouth shut. He wanted it to be a surprise.”
Sarah huffed a harsh laugh. “Well, guess what? I was definitely surprised.”
“Stop, Sarah. He wanted everyone to see how good he’d done for himself. That he was doing better and getting his life together.”
“So he was lying? Putting on a good show for you and the doctors in order to get released on time?”
“The thought occurred to me, but I don’t think so.”
“Then he was bipolar and you caught him in the manic stage?”
Caden blew out a low breath. “Maybe.” A guilty look flashed across his face. “But I don’t think that was it either.”
“For an FBI agent, you have the most expressive face. What are you hiding? Come on, spill it.”
Caden rubbed a hand down his chin. “I looked at his medical records.”
She raised a brow. “How’d you manage to do that?”
“I was suspicious after I saw him so . . . up. I tracked down his psychiatrist—Melissa McCandless. Told her about the whole thing, and she said while she couldn’t talk about Dustin’s medical information without permission from Dustin, she seemed to think Dustin had turned a corner and was expecting great things.”
“But how’d you see his medical records?”
He flushed.
“Caden . . . ?”
“I . . . uh . . . sort of sweet-talked a nurse into finding me some creamer for the cup of coffee she’d offered. She might have left her laptop open and I might have happened to see her type in the password, so . . .” He shrugged.
And with his unique ability to remember just about anything he saw or heard, he hadn’t had any trouble retaining the password. He could probably still tell her what it was. Caden didn’t often use his good looks and charm to do something like that, so he must have been feeling pretty desperate. She let it go without teasing him, not in the mood to bother. “Then . . .” She lifted a hand in confusion. “I don’t understand. What happened?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know. It’s all I’ve been able to think about in between making sure you weren’t going to die. I went to see Dustin once more after that—a couple of days after he was released—and he was still doing great. With the help of one of the counselors at the center, he had a job lined up and a place to live. He said getting out of the Army was the best decision he’d made in a long time. He seemed happy, Sarah. Really happy about everything.”
She frowned. “Then you missed something.”
He stood and slammed a fist onto the desk behind him.
“Cade!”
He whirled back to face her. “Don’t you think I’ve thought of that? I keep going over it and over it in my head, wondering what I missed. How could I not pick up on that he was so depressed he was thinking of killing himself? How?” Tears stood in his eyes.
“No, no, no. I didn’t mean it like that. It’s not your fault.” She pressed a hand against her side, keeping the pain from her expression. If Cade thought she was hurting, he’d change the subject.
“But that’s just it,” he said. “How can it not be my fault? As far as anyone knows, other than the hospital staff, I was the last one to see him alive.”
Sarah closed her eyes. “It’s not your fault. It’s not my fault. I’m not even sure it’s the general’s fault, but I’m okay with blaming him.” She swallowed hard and opened her eyes. “Only I can’t. As much as I hate to say it, this is Dustin’s fault. He’s the one who made the choice.”
Caden pressed his fingers to his eyes, then sat down next to her. “Yeah, but what did we miss?”
“We could do this all day, making ourselves crazy, trying to find a place to put the blame. I, for one, would prefer to look for answers.”