“One of our employees was killed in a car wreck a couple of weeks ago.”
“What? I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.”
“Thanks.” Marshall scrubbed a hand down his cheek and shrugged. “It’s been tough. He was a good friend, not just to me, but to many in the company. It’s going to be hard to replace him.” He took a sip of the steaming brew, then shook his head. “Some days I think I’m crazy to have gotten out of the service to open my own company.”
“It’s what you’ve wanted for a long time. The Army might have paid for your education, but you were never meant to stay there forever.”
Marshall pursed his lips and nodded. “Thanks. I needed that pep talk.” He paused. “The employee who was killed?”
“Yeah?”
“He lost his son about two months ago. And now this? It’s inconceivable.”
Lewis winced. “You just never know what life is going to deal you or when it’s going to deal it to you.”
Marshall let out a small groan. “Listen to me going on and on about an employee when you’re struggling with losing Dustin. I can’t find the words to tell you how sorry I am.”
“Thank you.”
“The funeral was a fitting tribute to him, though.”
“There shouldn’t have been a funeral.” Lewis pressed his thumb and forefinger to his eyes and gathered control of his emotions before they were reflected on his face. “I don’t understand. He was doing better. Caden took him home the day he left the hospital and then saw him a few days before he . . . well, before. Caden said he looked better than he’d seen him in a very long time. He was on the new medication and it seemed to be working.”
“Was he taking it like he was supposed to? Because if he stopped taking the pills or . . .” Marshall shrugged. “You know how that goes.”
“How do I know? Once he was out of the hospital, who knows what he did?”
“But the medicine was definitely working while he was under supervision of the hospital?”
“Seemed to be. I don’t know what happened. No one does.”
“What about Rochelle? How’s she doing?”
“I don’t know. She doesn’t speak to me these days.” He took another sip of coffee.
“Do you blame her? From what you said, you played dirty pool with her and her career.”
“It was for her own good.” But the hate on her face and in her eyes the last time he’d seen her sat heavy on his heart. “I never wanted kids, you know.”
Marshall stilled. “I didn’t realize. You’ve never said.”
“I mean, I was never home and wasn’t going to be home anytime in the foreseeable future. But she wanted them.”
“Tara.”
He nodded. “And I wanted to make her happy. When Caden was born, I have to admit, it was life changing. I mean, I had a son.”
“Let me guess. You decided you wanted kids after all?”
Lewis laughed, a harsh sound that he cut off quickly. “No, not hardly. But, in time, he grew on me. They all did.” He shrugged. “Of course, I didn’t see them all that much, but . . . yeah.” He paused and broke off a piece of the biscuit Jenny had set in front of him. “I’ve never asked you this before, but . . . you’ve never married or had children. Do you regret it?”
Marshall raised a brow and blew out a slow breath. “I’ve been so focused on my life’s work that I haven’t had time to think about marriage or kids.” He stopped, then shook his head. “No, I don’t regret it. At least not right now.”
“You’re doing good stuff.”
His friend smiled. “That’s the idea anyway.”
Lewis rubbed his eyes. “I should have done more,” he said, his voice soft, “for Dustin.”
“What more could you have done?” Marshall set his spoon on the table and lifted his cup to take a sip.
“I don’t know what, but just . . . more. Something. Anything. I knew he was having issues. I knew he was in trouble and fighting to keep his sanity. I knew about the panic attacks, nightmares, and that he was an alcoholic. I just didn’t know he was so close to the edge.” He rubbed his eyes again. “How could I not know?”
“You did everything you could, my friend.”
“I should have stepped in and gotten him out earlier or delayed his release. Something.” He had no idea what would have been the right thing to do. “But I didn’t. And now look where we are.”