And he was . . . a liar.
I had trusted him.
Everything in my body went numb. Except for my heart, which had ruptured in my chest.
The shower shut off, and I finally moved from the spot I had been frozen in. I swiped my finger over the text message and paused only a brief second to think it through before pressing delete. Then I put his phone back where he had left it. Without looking toward the bathroom, I walked out of the bedroom and as far across the apartment as I could. I stood in the corner farthest from him and waited.
He would come looking for me. I didn’t want him getting close.
I couldn’t let myself think about all the places he had touched me. When he was gone, he was touching her. She was having sex with him.
It all made sense now. How he was so patient with me. He didn’t need sex from me. He was getting it regularly back in Texas. I placed a hand over my mouth to keep from screaming in agony.
This was too much. I hadn’t known it could feel like this. The sudden, brutal end of love.
I had never loved before, but now that it was over, the pain was excruciating.
I wouldn’t do this again. Love. The happiness it gave you was a fleeting thing. It wasn’t worth this.
His body filled the doorway. A towel was wrapped around his hips, and his hair was still dripping water that trailed down his bare chest. “Reese?” his voice was concerned.
He was concerned about me a lot. The broken girl who needed help. I couldn’t read, write, or have sex. He was going to fix me. Was that what I had been to him? A project?
“What’s wrong, baby?” he asked, as he began to walk toward me. I couldn’t let him touch me. Not anymore.
“No!” I screamed, holding my hands up to keep him back. “Don’t come near me,” I warned.
He stopped, but the look in his eyes was one that I would have once thought was fear. I didn’t think that anymore. He didn’t know what fear was. Or pain.
“Reese, what’s wrong?” he asked carefully, studying me.
“Leave. I want you to leave. Don’t come back. I don’t want you here.” I held my hands up, but I turned my gaze to the door. I couldn’t look at him, because my heart was confused. It thought it saw pain in his eyes. It didn’t. I had thought I’d seen a lot of things when he looked at me that I didn’t truly see.
“Baby, what happened? Don’t do this. Don’t push me away. Let me come to you.”
He thought this was because of my past. I could hear it in his voice. He was talking to the broken girl. The one he felt sorry for. The one he pitied. “I want you gone. Get dressed and get out!” I yelled the last part. He wasn’t listening to me. I wanted him to leave. I couldn’t stand here like this much longer. The shattering inside my chest made me want to curl up and hold myself together.
“I’m not leaving you, Reese. You have to tell me what’s wrong. I can help you—”
“No! I’m not your personal charity case. I was fine before you, and I’ll be fine after you. But you need to leave! I’m calling the cops if you aren’t out of here in five minutes.”
Mase started coming toward me again, and I screamed at the top of my lungs. “Jesus, Reese! What’s wrong?” He was yelling now, too.
I leveled my gaze on him. “You. You are wrong. You’re wrong for me. I don’t want you here. I want you to leave me alone. You’ve forced me to do things I didn’t want to do. You’ve touched me in places I don’t like to be touched. I don’t want to see you again. Ever. Just go!”
Saying those words hurt. They were a lie. He would know they were a lie, but I was desperate. He wasn’t leaving. He wasn’t listening.
When I saw him turn and walk back away, I almost collapsed. He was going to leave me.
The realization that Mase was going to walk out that door and not come back destroyed whatever part of me was left.
I should never have loved. I wasn’t meant to love or be loved. This was a lesson I should have learned by now.
I wanted the numbness to spread, but it was fading. Loss engulfed me.
If only I’d never known how it felt to believe I was special to someone else.
Mase reappeared, and he was holding his duffel in his hand. He walked toward the door without looking at me but stopped just before he got there. His eyes closed tightly, and he let out an unsteady breath. “I’m sorry,” was all he said.