When I'm Gone(12)

Oh, no. Not this.

He would see what I wrote. And it was hard for me to write things down when they were dictated to me. I had to concentrate. My letters got turned around, and I often started to panic when I felt pressure to write without enough time. I had to be alone, and I needed to focus.

“Three-three-three,” he started, and I quickly wrote down the numbers. I could do that. It wasn’t hard. “Berkley Road,” he added, and my heart began pounding so loudly I couldn’t hear anything else. “Fort Worth,” he said, before I had even managed to write the B or what I thought was the B. My hands were shaking so badly I wasn’t sure I could write anything else.

I sucked in a deep breath and tried hard to get myself under control. Berkley. I had the B. Then it was E. I started to write the E, and it looked like the 3 I had written before. I paused and glanced back at the 3s. Why did they look alike?

His gaze was on me. A cold sweat broke out all over my body, and I forced myself to keep going. It was an R next. I blinked rapidly, as the words I had written twisted and my head began to throb.

“Text it to me,” I heard him say. I knew he wasn’t talking to me.

I closed my eyes tightly, wanting nothing more than to jump out of the moving vehicle. This was not happening to me. I had lived here almost a year without anyone knowing I was stupid. That stigma had been left behind. I had used the spell-check on Jimmy’s computer to fill out my application for the cleaning service.

My grip on the pen had turned my knuckles white, and I looked down at it through the frustrated tears gathering in my eyes. Now Mase Manning knew just how stupid I was. Of all people to have figured this out, why did it have to be him? The universe hated me.

Mase’s large hand reached over and took the pen from my grasp. I let him have it. Then he tossed it into the glove compartment and closed it. I couldn’t look at him. He wasn’t saying anything, and I refused to meet his gaze. I would see the pity or, worse, the disgust.

The car stopped, and I sucked in a breath, then reached for the door handle. I would just bolt. The chances of me seeing this man again were slim to none. He didn’t say anything as I climbed out of the car. That hurt, even though I was thankful. He wasn’t opening my door or telling me good-bye. He was just letting me run away like the idiot I was.

I didn’t look back at him as I dug for my apartment key in my backpack.

My hand was shaking so badly I couldn’t get the key into the lock. The tears were blurring my vision, and I let out a sob of frustration before trying once again to open my front door.

Suddenly, his hand was covering mine, and I watched as he plucked the key from my weak grasp. I stood in horror and confusion as he unlocked my door and pushed it open. Why was he out of the car?

I didn’t move. I was frozen in my spot. Then his hand touched my back, and he gently nudged me inside. Unable to think for myself, I went. He kept his hand on my lower back until we were both inside, and the door closed softly behind us. He’d followed me inside. He was going to ask me questions. Questions he already knew the answers to. I had proven in the car how my brain didn’t work right. He had seen it first-hand. I just needed him to go away now.

“What happened?” his voice was gentle and kind. There was no ugliness to his question. I almost felt safe. Almost.

Mase

My thoughts were all over the place as I tried like hell to figure out what had happened in the car. I’d never seen anyone do that before. It had been hard to drive as I watched Reese struggle with writing down a simple address. I hadn’t realized she was having a problem until she made a soft panicked noise in her throat like she couldn’t breathe.

My gaze had gone to her face, and I’d seen she’d gone pale. Glancing down at the paper, I’d also seen three Es instead of three 3s. Her backward B had been enough for me to know something was off. She had to have an explanation. One that made sense.

“I’m stupid . . . I . . . my brain doesn’t work right. I went to school for twelve years and still didn’t graduate. I can’t pass a test. I can’t . . . I can’t even read. Not much.”

Holy shit.

She lifted her hand up to wipe at her tears, and her full lips were puckered up. She was even gorgeous when she cried.

“You’re not stupid,” I said tightly. I hated hearing her call herself that. Something was wrong with her, but she was not stupid.

She let out a sad laugh and continued to wipe away her tears. “You may be the first person who knows about this and doesn’t think I’m stupid.”

My body tensed, and an angry coil tightened in my chest. “Did someone tell you that you were stupid?” I asked, unable to keep my emotions out of my voice. I was pissed.

She stiffened, then glanced at me warily. “Yes¸” she replied softly.

“Who?”

She studied me a moment. At least my reaction had stopped her tears.

Those big eyes sucked you in, but with them all wet and red from crying, they were more lethal. You wanted to do whatever the hell was needed to make them shine with laughter.

“My parents, teachers, other kids . . . everyone,” she replied. “But I am. You just don’t know . . .” She trailed off, looking so forlorn and broken. Her tone told me that this wasn’t easy on her. I wondered if anyone in her life knew this.

“Then they’re the idiots. I’ve been around you enough to know you’re smart. You live on your own and have a job. A stupid person couldn’t accomplish all that.”