“How about you and I both eat the ‘spinch,’ and then I’ll take you for ice cream if Mom and Dad say it’s OK.”
Nate’s eyes lit up, and he beamed at me. “Deal!” he cried out, and his arms squeezed my neck tightly.
I glanced up at Blaire to see if I was in trouble, but her smile told me it was OK.
I wanted what she had. I’d never get it, and a part of me hated her out of pure envy. She was everything I’d never be. She had a life I’d never know. My nephew and niece would be the only kids to show me unconditional love. My chest ached, but I pushed those thoughts away. Feeling sorry for myself was pointless. I knew that already.
Major
The dozen red roses in my hand had cost more than one hundred dollars. I hadn’t counted them as an expense, because I didn’t want this to feel like part of my job. This apology was real. Even if she didn’t know the difference between my work and what was genuine, I did. That mattered.
Her car pulled into the driveway, and I stood on the front step I’d been sitting on. I knew the moment her eyes met mine. Even with her dark sunglasses on, I could feel the heat from her glare. She didn’t want me here. Even after Cope had hurt her, she wasn’t ready to come back to me. To forgive me. But I would fix that.
She sat for a moment in her car, and I began to wonder if she would back out and leave without a word. I hoped the massive bouquet in my hands would persuade her to step out and at least talk to me. I mouthed the word please, knowing she could see my face clearly.
Her shoulders lifted and fell with a sigh, and she slipped off her sunglasses and opened her car door. Success. Now for the next part of my plan.
She sashayed up to the steps with an annoyed look in her eyes, and I almost wanted to laugh. I’d missed that haughty look. I’d missed a lot about Nan. She entertained me, and even when she was at her bitchiest, she had this soft spot underneath that not many people ever got a glimpse of. I was lucky. She’d let me see it.
“Why are you here?” she snapped, not even glancing at the roses in my hand.
I held them out to her. “I’m sorry.”
She didn’t reach for them. She ignored them completely and rolled her eyes at me as if I was a child in need of a scolding. “I don’t want damn roses. I don’t want your apologies. I don’t want you sitting on my front steps again. Ever.”
Ouch. I hadn’t been prepared for angry Nan. “You said we could be friends. What happened to that? Doesn’t that mean you have to stop hating me?”
She held up a hand to stop me and let out a hard, bitter laugh. “Stop it, please. You don’t want to be friends. You’ve made that clear. But I don’t want to hear your pathetic bullshit. You want me because you think you can’t have me. When I was yours to take, you treated me as an option. I was there when you were bored. I was there when you wanted company and there wasn’t a better choice. You liked knowing that I wanted you. That I waited for your calls. That I was there when you crooked your finger my way. You loved that I was enthralled by your pretty face and your charm. It was easy for you, and I was easy for you. But I’m over that now. I don’t ever want it back. I’m missing nothing by not having it. I’m free of the pull you had on me and the heartbreak you constantly put me through. I do not want you, Major Colt. This flower shit isn’t what friends do. Call me next time, don’t just stop by.”
Her face was emotionless as she stood there with her red hair blowing off her face in the Gulf breeze. The fire in her eyes that I used to see every time she looked at me was gone. The attraction that sparked when our eyes met no longer lingered. She meant every word she’d just said. She wasn’t trying to hurt me or get a reaction out of me.
“I want to go into my house, take a shower, and watch TV. Alone. Please leave. Don’t come back unless you’re invited. I’m moving past this and you. My heart is no longer in it. The game we were playing is done. I’m ready to live life without you. I wasn’t before, but I am now. Enjoy all your girls and all your silly games with someone else. It won’t be hard to find another female who’s stupid enough to adore you with nothing in return. That’s what you need to stroke your ego, so go find it. Because you won’t find it here anymore.”
Nan stepped around me, then glanced back at the flowers in my hand and took them. She held them up and smirked. “These are a weak and cliché way to smooth things over. Next time you attempt to play with a woman’s heart, try the big-boy approach, and don’t spend your money on silly flowers that mean nothing. Jesus, what did I ever really see beyond your pretty face?” With that final insult, she tossed the flowers onto the ground and went into the house.
When the door clicked closed behind her, I stood there, unsure what to do next. That hadn’t been what I’d expected. I’d thought she’d yell or cry. I figured the roses weren’t enough, but maybe they would soften her up so I could talk to her. But she’d left me speechless. I had no words to respond to the hateful things she’d said to me. That side of Nan I had never seen. I’d heard about it but never witnessed it.
My chest felt hollow, and yet there was a sharp pain where she’d shot me right there in the center of it. No woman had ever spoken to me that way. But then again, I’d never met a woman like Nan before. I reached down to the pebbled ground to pick up the roses she’d tossed aside so heartlessly.
If she weren’t a job, I could walk away and forget her. I didn’t have to take this abuse. I didn’t have to let her hurt me. But she was a job. She had begun as a job, and she would finish as a job. I couldn’t let my feelings for Nan cloud my vision right now.
Nan
I wasn’t going to sit and sulk in front of the TV any longer. Binge-watching One Tree Hill on Netflix all day yesterday was enough. Today I would need to run off all the popcorn, string cheese, and peanut butter crackers I’d eaten since my run-in with Major. Then I was going to see if I could take Nate to the park. Both things would help get my mind off Gannon and my pathetic existence.
Dressed in spandex shorts and a Lululemon sports bra, I headed out to the beach to run until my legs no longer worked. I wasn’t as tight and muscular as I wanted to be. But when a girl liked her peanut butter crackers and milk as a bedtime snack, it was hard not to have little soft areas on her body. My new goal was to fix that. I might not be perfect, but I’d damn well try my hardest.
Major
He didn’t call me. He never called me. He just showed the fuck up when I didn’t want to see him. Which was always.
“She’s been home for three days, and you still haven’t made any progress. Did you seriously think roses would fucking win Nan over? This isn’t a damn romance novel. Goddammit, man, think.”
I took a drag off the cigarette in my hand before looking up at the man standing in front of me. He was beyond annoyed. He was pissed as hell, and I was about to be out of a job. Maybe I needed to be out of this job. Maybe this shit wasn’t for me.
“Women love roses,” I replied, wondering if this was true or if he was right and that sort of gesture only worked in romance novels and movies and shit.
“Women fucking pretend they like flowers. Men like the idea that they can please them by buying them something so damn easy. But women are complicated as fuck. They don’t want flowers. They want thought. They want sacrifice. They want to own you. They don’t fucking want flowers that’ll just rot and die in a few days.”